My friend: Hey, why are you always smiling?
Me: 'Cause life is a joke and we’re all slacking it off.
Why Jokes
Why are history teachers always women? Because they like to bring up the past.
Why are Santa's balls so big?
Because he comes once a year.
Why are Americans bad at Clash Royale? Because they lost both towers.
Why do cats leave scratches on arms? They don't; I do it myself.
Why did the slave go to college?
To get his master's degree.
A man marries a blonde chick, lives a happy life together, and the man asks his wife if she wants kids. She says "yes".
So, a couple of years go by, and they have one boy and one girl. They go to school, go home with their report cards, and the dad asks what their grades were. The son says he's not doing well, same with the daughter. They ask why they're doing so bad in school, and the dad replies with "ask your mother that question!"
Why did the flamingo cross the road?
Because it was the chicken's day off.
Wanna know why I don’t make suicidal jokes?
Because I am one.
Why does an orphan wanna be a criminal?
Because they wanna be wanted.
Why can’t an orphan use an iPhone?
Because it can’t find the home button.
Why did the bee go to the doctors?
Answer: Because he had hives.
Why do people love dating orphans?
Because they're always home alone.
Why do orphans hate health ed at school?
Their parents can't opt them out of it.
In the hospital, they need to keep the disabled patients' rooms cooler than the other patients' rooms.
Why?
They need to keep the vegetables cool and crisp.
Why don't Indians play soccer?
Because every time they get a corner, they open up a shop.
Why don’t Indians play soccer?
Cos every time they get a corner, they open a shop.
Why did Hitler kill himself?
He didn’t want to pay the gas bill.
Why can't all orphans learn about ancient Egypt? Because they don't know what a mummy is.
Why can't orphans play dodgeball? Because no one misses them.
