Whos jokes
"Batteries, batteries, who the batteries in your remotes and everything else you got in your house is turned upside down?"
If Will Smith had a revolver and said, "Who fucked my wife?" Chris Rock would say, "You don't have enough bullets, mate."
A leaf and an emo kid fall from a tree, who hits the ground first? The leaf, because the rope stopped the emo kid.
High school crush: Why do you always look so sad?
Me: My mom is dead, and my favorite grandma, and my uncle killed both of them, and now he's in jail.
High school crush: Shit. Sorry about that.
Me: And my crush hasn't asked me out.
High school crush: Who is it?
Me: You.
Him: Goodbye (as he runs away and never comes back)
Me: Fuck that.
What do you call a pretty person who loves Rolls? A roll model.
Twin monks who ring the church bells died.
Now they are dead ringers. :)
What do you call someone who’s blond, beautiful, and listens to what you’re saying, but only hears what they want?
Womxn
What do you call two monkeys who share the same Amazon account? Prime mates.
What's an orphan's favorite game?
"Who's your daddy?"
(Go look up the game)
Don't be racist! BE LIKE MARIO!
He's an Italian plumber, created by the Japanese, who speaks English, and looks like a Mexican, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a Jew.
What do you call a kid with autism who saw Star Wars?
Chewbacca.
All of a guy's sons came out gay. He ordered 10 shots in a bar.
The bartender asks, "Do you have anyone in your family who likes women?"
The man said, "My wife does!"
Guys, stop making jokes about orphan's parents.
Who will be told? Oh wait.
What happened to the guy who tried to catch fog?
He mist.
My friend group is pretty diverse. I'm Japanese, one friend is Filipino, one is American, one is Italian, and the last one is German.
Out of everyone in the friend group, the Filipino and the American were the quickest to feel uncomfortable when I asked, "Who wants to go on a march with me?"
Who are the fastest readers?
9/11 victims.
What do you call a horny emo who practices self-control?
An edgelord.
Me: Knock knock.
Orphan: Who's there?
Me: Not your family.
One day, a priest loses his cock (chicken). He goes to the church and says, "Who has seen a cock?" All the women raised their hands. "No, who has seen a cock that is not theirs?" Half the women's hands went up. "No, no, no, who has seen my cock?" All the nuns' hands went up.
What do you call a girl above age 16 who says she is a virgin? A liar.