Whos jokes
The police: Pull over!
The kid: Do you know who my dad is?
The police: What, your mom did not tell you?
If someone who speaks two languages is bilingual, and someone who speaks many languages is multilingual, then what do you call someone who speaks one language?
An American.
To the guy in a wheelchair who stole my camouflage coat: you can hide, but you can't run.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not your dad.
When someone got the ghost in them, sound in the Priest Busters.
When something strange and it ain't no who you gonna call? Priest Busters.
Russia and Ukraine are running a marathon. Who do you think won? Russia did. Russia gave Ukraine a migraine.
My friend who is in a wheelchair told me a joke, and I burst out laughing. I told him he should be a stand-up comedian.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Lemon.
Haha! Hahahah! Hahahaah!
One day there was a frantic call at the fire department:
"Help me, help me! There is a cat meowing nearby. It is going to hurt me, it's going to kill me, can you help me, and send the fire squad right away?"
"Take it easy, cats don’t hurt us, just relax and wait until he leaves."
"You don’t understand it is going to bite me, it is going to kill me, it is going to be fatal!"
"Cats aren’t venomous or in any other way dangerous, now who is calling?"
"I’m Indy's parrot you twit! Now help me! Please help, please help!"
Who is the king of the insects 🐜?
The Monarch!
Ex Of Johnnys: I have a question.
Johnny: What?
Ex Of Johnnys: Am I pretty?
Johnny: Yes ofc jesus made everybody wonderfully!
Ex: Awhh!
Johnny: But whoever made you was painting Thomas the Train while making your face.
Bob: What is the percent of people who are depressed?
Me: If you're only counting me, 100%.
At least someone who is gay/Carter has someone.
When you get mad, just punch an orphan. Who are they going to tell? Their mom?
Knock knock.
"Who's there?"
Boo.
"Boo who?"
It's just a joke, no need to cry!
Other girls want a guy who is 6ft, but does me being 6ft under count?
Knock, knock.
Who is there?
Deez.
Deez who?
Deez nuts!
Me to an orphan: If you had a penny for everyone who loved you, I don't think you'd have any.
The orphan: But why?
Me: Because if someone loved you, they wouldn't have thrown you out.
If you have anger problems, hit an orphan, because who are they going to tell? Not their parents.
Who needs April 1st if your whole life is already a lie?