Whats jokes
When I die I want to have a piece of paper near me giving a clue on how I died, like, "I want everyone to miss me except for this bullet," or, "You didn't hang with me but guess what did?"
What did the woman on the beach say to Michael Jackson? Hey, get out of my sun!
What’s the difference between a baby and an onion?
I cry peeling onions!
What do you call an Asian man flying a plane?
A pilot, you racist fuck!
What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
Neither can see their parents.
What's worse than sticking 12 raw oysters up your grandma's pussy and sucking them out?
Sticking 12 raw oysters up there and sucking out 13.
What's worse than waking up with a penis drawn on your face?
Finding out it was traced.
What did one iceberg say to the other iceberg as the Titanic went by?
"I'd smash that."
Q. What walks through alleys and has a hole in it?
A. Batman's parents.
What is the difference between an apple spread and an orphan spread?
Apples get picked.
What is a necrophile's least favorite game?
The Walking Dead.
I was in class doing sex education. We were learning about sexual stereotypes.
My teacher turns to the class and asks, "If anyone could tell him what a sexual stereotype was?"
So I raised my hand and said, "Asians have small penis." He looked at me and said, "Very good, but I was looking for a definition."
What do you call a wheelchair person with a gun? Special ops.
GF: What do you think of our love?
BF: Count the stars in the sky.
GF: Aww... It's infinity!
BF: Nope. It's just a waste of time.
What do girls and noodles have in common?
They both wiggle when you eat them.
First date be like:
Me: "I work with animals every day."
Her: "Oh, how sweet! What is it exactly that you do with them?"
Me: "I'm a butcher."
What's the best cheese in the world?
Dick cheese.
What do you call a Chinese man in the heat?
Boi Ling.
What do you call a train full of gum?
A chew chew train.
Q: What do you call an owner that can't take care of their cat? A: A impurrefect owner.