Whats jokes

What goes up but never comes down?

What is always in front of you but can’t be seen?

I’m tall when I’m young, and I’m short when I’m old. What am I?

What's your mom on?

Deez nuts!

What do you call angry midgets?

Short-tempered.

What's the difference between sex and rape? Some effective drugs.

My wife is so ugly when she was born, the doctor said, "I did everything I could, but she pulled through anyways." When she was born, the doctor hung himself with the umbilical cord. He pushed her back in, said, "Not done." The doctor slapped her mother. The doctor looked at her and said, "Twins!" He didn't know what end to slap. He threw her away and kept the afterbirth.

Teacher: What comes after C?

Me: Ooh! Ooh! C4!

Teacher: Umm, ok... but still what comes after A?

Me: AK47!!!

Teacher thought: Oh hell na.

Teacher: What comes after X?

Me: Xplosin.

1 second later, bomb goes off. Idk.

Me rn: "Yo yo yo, for pre-K I went to K.I.S.S. a school."

My friend: "What is K.I.S.M.A.?"

Me: "K.I.S.M.A. balls!"

I walked into an orphanage and a kid was crying. I asked him what was wrong and he said some kids were bullying him. I told him to go tell his parents.

What does an orphan's life and a pseudoword have in common?

They both have no meaning.

Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app, and it just sent an ambulance to my house.

Math Teacher: "If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 6 in the other hand, what do I have?"

Student: "A drinking problem."

What do you call Hitler speeding?

The Fast and the Fuherous.

What's Hitler's favorite letter? Not Z.

What do you call a virgin kid locked in a room with a pedophile? Past tense.

What chips are you not allowed to give to orphans?

Family size.

Adopting a kid is like having a yard sale! I mean, if the owners don't want it anymore, what makes you think I want it?

What's black and found on top of the stairs?

Stephen Hawking during a house fire.

What do you call an orphan?

Homeless.