What do you call angry midgets?
Short-tempered.
My wife is so ugly when she was born, the doctor said, "I did everything I could, but she pulled through anyways." When she was born, the doctor hung himself with the umbilical cord. He pushed her back in, said, "Not done." The doctor slapped her mother. The doctor looked at her and said, "Twins!" He didn't know what end to slap. He threw her away and kept the afterbirth.
Teacher: What comes after C?
Me: Ooh! Ooh! C4!
Teacher: Umm, ok... but still what comes after A?
Me: AK47!!!
Teacher thought: Oh hell na.
Teacher: What comes after X?
Me: Xplosin.
1 second later, bomb goes off. Idk.
Me rn: "Yo yo yo, for pre-K I went to K.I.S.S. a school."
My friend: "What is K.I.S.M.A.?"
Me: "K.I.S.M.A. balls!"
I walked into an orphanage and a kid was crying. I asked him what was wrong and he said some kids were bullying him. I told him to go tell his parents.
What do you call Hitler speeding?
The Fast and the Fuherous.
What's Hitler's favorite letter? Not Z.
What chips are you not allowed to give to orphans?
Family size.
Adopting a kid is like having a yard sale! I mean, if the owners don't want it anymore, what makes you think I want it?
What do you call an orphan?
Homeless.
What is the difference between Obama and Osama?
Osama didn't kill innocent civilians with missile strikes.