Want jokes
Why canât an orphan get arrested?
Because they're not wanted.
Are you adopted?
No.
I mean, who would want you?
A man ate a bee to mechanical sexting, but he was to be, uh, sex. Bee vagina penis, he want sex but [is] dumb.
Me: Hey, do you want to see my grandma?
Friend: Yeah, sure.
Me: *pulls out gun*
Why did UK want Northern Ireland for more s***?
Sister: You're adopted.
Me: At least they wanted me, they must feel terribly bad cuz they had to keep you :(
Hey guys. I just wanted to say, while I think some rape jokes can be funny, not one of these are. In fact, I find them pretty horrifying.
I was raped when I was fourteen (about six years ago), and I have made one rape joke in my entire life when, last year, I said "I don't fuck with rapists, I just get fucked by them." I thought it was funny. No one else did, and they were probably right in that.
My point is this: rape jokes CAN be funny when they are used by victims as a way of coping with trauma. They CANNOT be funny when they are made about raping someone else. Even if there is a difference between joking about raping someone and raping someone, it is absolutely disgusting to think such a horrific crime is funny, and I am sure at least some of the posters on this page have already crossed the line into committing rape.
Great material for social scientific research, though, gentlemen. Really well done.
1. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
2. Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be a water-melon.
3. What did the duck say when it bought lipstick? âPut it on my bill.â
4. What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.
5. What has a bed that you canât sleep in? A river.
6. Why were the teacherâs eyes crossed? She couldnât control her pupils.
7. What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? An Envelope.
8. How does the ocean say hello? It waves.
9. What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.
10. What creature is smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee.
11. Which U.S. state has the smallest soft drinks? Minnesota (as in, âmini-sodaâ).
12. Why couldnât the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.
13. Apparently, you canât use âbeef stewâ as a password. Itâs not stroganoff.
14. Why did the drum take a nap? It was beat.
15. Where do hamburgers go dancing? They go to the meat-ball.
16. Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing.
17. Why shouldnât you write with a broken pencil? Because itâs pointless.
Want to hear a joke about pizza? Never mind, it's too cheesy.
What do we want? Racecar noises!
When do we want them? NEOWWWWW!
What is the difference between a hooker and a feminist?
If you want a hooker to be a bitch, you have to give her money first.
A little girl was sitting with some other kids. She thought to herself, "I want to have kids when I'm older, at least theyâll have a home, parents, and hopefully a dad that actually came back with the milk!" đ€Łđ
What do you call someone whoâs blond, beautiful, and listens to what youâre saying, but only hears what they want?
Womxn
When the bully says, "You're adopted," so you hit him with, "At least someone wanted me!"
When you ask an orphan to come over:
Kid: "Do you want to come over to my house?"
Orphan: "Yeah, sure."
Kid: "Ok, ask your parentsâoh wait."
Why is it everyone wants to rub a pregnant woman's stomach but never the man's balls where the baby actually came from and the real ones that deserve the congratulations?
Q: what happened when the depressed kid wanted to high five the tree?
A: It left him/her/them hanging.
Orphans are just wannabe children. They want a family.
Why do orphans hate Ted Bundy? Cause he's the most wanted.
What is the difference between an orphan and a criminal?
Only one is wanted.