Walked in to a gun store, everything was half off.
I didn't know back-to-school shopping started.
Why do nuns walk in groups?
So one “nun” can keep an eye on the other “nun” just to make sure that she isn’t getting "nun".
What time is it when you walk into a wall? Time to get to bed!
A kid is arrested for a school shooting threat. He is then apprehended and asked why he wanted to do this. He responds with, "What do you mean? I already did it." Then the police ran back to the school to apprehend the other people he was planning it with. The cops busted in through the doors, which caused a smoke trap to go off, which then the cops saw three people walk in and the police begin to fire. But as the smoke began to clear, the cops saw that the three people were 16 kids duck taped to rolling poles, 4 per pole. Back at the station, holding the kid being apprehended, the kid puts his feet up on a chair and said, "Aww, it pays to be lazy!"
Why did the suicidal man walk in front of the car? To get to the other side.
There are two siblings, a little brother and a big brother. Now, the big brother had a girlfriend, and one night they decided to go and have sex. So, the bigger brother goes to pick up his girlfriend one night and take her home. So they get to the bigger brother's house and walk into his room. Now the two siblings shared the room, and they had bunk beds. When they walked in the room, they saw the little brother asleep in the bottom bunk, so they went up to the top bunk to have sex. The big brother says, "Whenever you feel good, say 'lettuce,' and whenever you want to switch positions say 'tomato'." The girl constantly is saying "lettuce, tomato," and then the little brother wakes up. He quietly remarks, "Can you guys stop making sandwiches? You're getting mayonnaise all over me."
Once there were three girls taking a walk in the mountains. One was a brunette, one was a redhead, and the other was a dumb blonde. They came to a cliff and the brunette said, "If you jump off that cliff and say what you want to be you will become it." So the brunette jumped off and said "falcon" and became a falcon. The redhead jumped off and said "eagle" and became an eagle. The dumb blonde ran, was about to jump, but tripped on a rock, and said "crap."
A boy walks into class with a shirt, pants, underwear, and socks. The teacher says, "Where have you been?" The boy says, "On a peach hill."
Another boy walks in with a shirt, pants, underwear, and socks. The teacher says, "Where have you been?" The boy says, "On a peach hill."
Then a girl walks in, and the teacher says, "And where on earth have you been?" The girl says, "Well, you see..." Then the teacher stops her and says, "Let me guess, on a peach hill?" The girl says, "No, on 2 big cucumbers."
I walk in from work to find my wife dead on the sofa.
As I unzip for one last ride, she says, "BOO!" What kind of sick fuck does that?
I was the manager at a McDonald’s in Turin when I saw Penaldo walk in and submit a job application. I asked him to show me his skills and experience, but he just started diving and asking for pens and tap-ins. I was confused until Penaldo told me that’s all he knows how to do.
What’s the difference between Stephen hawking and a walk-in talkie
He can’t walkie or talkie
Fineman, Einstein, and Schrodinger walked into a bar.
Fineman says, "It appears we're inside a joke."
Einstein says, "But only to an observer who saw us walk in simultaneously."
To which Schrodinger says, "If someone's looking through the window, I'm leaving!"
When I have sex, my girlfriend screams, especially when I walk in on her.
I walk in on my mum and she's in the middle of pulling off my dad's boxers. I said, "Mum, you really spoil those dogs!"
When they walk in and you're fucking... everyone at the morgue.
So, every time I walk in the door, my kid shuts his laptop. So, I check his history. It was good, but my wife checked mine, and she didn't say the same. The words I heard were, "Get out!"
Ugh, don't you just hate it when you're having sex and your parents walk in the room and say, "No more dead babies for your mister, we are running low!"
Most embarrassing moment during sex, GO!
James Arnold: My grandma walked in while I was knife raping my wife.
Why did Helen Keller walk in on someone in the bathroom?
Because she didn’t know it was the bathroom.
A Texan and an Alaskan walk in a room. The Alaskan says, "My state is bigger than yours." The Texan says, "It won't be when it melts!"
