Ugliness jokes
I want your weight, not your phone number.
Your wife dumped you because you are so poor and you are so ugly. You also live under a rock and have no money. You got dumped so hard you can't remember you got dumped.
Even the Twin Towers got a better upgrade than your ugly ass.
Your hairline is so ugly, I thought you were Shrek!
Sometimes I feel ugly, then remember I have a brother, then I feel better.
The police gave you a fine for not fixing your ugly hairline.
Your mama is so ugly! Ghostface from Scream won't even make that call!
Your mama is so ugly, she tried summoning Candyman, but he refused to come!
Your mama is so ugly, she summoned Bloody Mary.
She handed her an application through the mirror.
Your mama smells so bad that everytime she goes outside, she gets ticketed for pollution. She's so ugly that everytime she looks out a window, she gets arrested for mooning.
Your mama is so ugly.
The Buddhist monks broke their vow of silence.
Your mama is so ugly, she doesn't have to flush the toilet. She already scared the shit out of it.
Your mama is so ugly, her reflection ran away!
Your mama is so ugly, her shadow got a restraining order.
Your mama is so ugly! It took your dad 15 years to return from getting milk.
You are so ugly, when you were born, your mother asked for a receipt.
My wife is so ugly when she was born, the doctor said, "I did everything I could, but she pulled through anyways." When she was born, the doctor hung himself with the umbilical cord. He pushed her back in, said, "Not done." The doctor slapped her mother. The doctor looked at her and said, "Twins!" He didn't know what end to slap. He threw her away and kept the afterbirth.
You are so ugly, when the devil saw you, he said, "Jesus Christ!"
You are so ugly, when the Joker saw you, he stopped laughing.
Yo hairline so ugly, when you go to school you fall on a line.