Ugliness jokes
Mom: That's why your dad left you.
Me: Why?
Mom: I mean look at you, depressed, suicidal, and unhappy, always anxious, and other mental health issues.
Me: How is that my fault? You are a rude mom!
Mom: Your dad had a heart attack two weeks before you were born, because you are ugly!
(This actually did happen in real life.)
(Bully) Boy, you ugly!
(Me) Boy, shut up, that's why your hairline start at the back of your head.
You are so fat and ugly, Chucky didn't even want to play with you.
Tyler is ugly.
If you are called Tyler, change your name.
I want your weight, not your phone number.
Your wife dumped you because you are so poor and you are so ugly. You also live under a rock and have no money. You got dumped so hard you can't remember you got dumped.
Even the Twin Towers got a better upgrade than your ugly ass.
Your hairline is so ugly, I thought you were Shrek!
Sometimes I feel ugly, then remember I have a brother, then I feel better.
The police gave you a fine for not fixing your ugly hairline.
Your mama is so ugly! Ghostface from Scream won't even make that call!
Your mama is so ugly, she tried summoning Candyman, but he refused to come!
Your mama is so ugly, she summoned Bloody Mary.
She handed her an application through the mirror.
Your mama smells so bad that everytime she goes outside, she gets ticketed for pollution. She's so ugly that everytime she looks out a window, she gets arrested for mooning.
Your mama is so ugly.
The Buddhist monks broke their vow of silence.
Your mama is so ugly, she doesn't have to flush the toilet. She already scared the shit out of it.
Your mama is so ugly, her reflection ran away!
Your mama is so ugly, her shadow got a restraining order.
Your mama is so ugly! It took your dad 15 years to return from getting milk.
You are so ugly, when you were born, your mother asked for a receipt.