Try jokes
How many feminists does it take to fix a lightbulb?
9: one to screw the lightbulb, one to film it, one to post about it on a women empowerment social media page, one to complain that the man didn’t screw the lightbulb, one to say that women deserve to screw more lightbulbs, one to try to get #womenlightbulbscrewers trending on Twitter, one to bring a man and show him the screwing, one to say that women are better than men at screwing lightbulbs, and one to make a speech about the lightbulb.
Did you hear about the orphan that tried to high five a tree? It left her hanging.
Your mama is so ugly, she tried summoning Candyman, but he refused to come!
Don't ever tell somebody depressed to try again.
I tried to search stuff about 9/11 for a research project, but it didn’t work... I guess the site crashed.
Orphans have it lucky.
When teachers threaten to call parents, the orphans say, "Try me."
When teachers give homework, orphans say, "Where?"
They tried to make me laugh, but I was already DYING.
Orphan lady: Ok kids, someone donated groceries.
Orphans: YAY!
5 minutes later...
Orphans: Wait... where's the...
Orphan lady: *tries to hold daughter*
Person who donated: *holds milk in hand* hehe
I was trying to hang the lights when I accidentally kicked the chair.
What happened when the emo tried to high five a tree?
It left him hanging.
I tried to tell an Armenian genocide joke in Istanbul.
Nobody got it.
I murdered my friend's brother because he kept saying "HEE HEE" like Michael Jackson when I was trying to have a serious conversation. I just found out he was disabled. That's a THRILLER.
A grasshopper tries playing cricket. It failed and got eaten by the bat.
The orphan tried to play baseball, but he couldn't get home because home doesn't exist for him.
The gay kid tried to shoot up the school, but his shots would not go straight.
The emo tried to high five the tree, but the tree just left him hanging.
I threw a lamp at a depressed kid. I was just trying to brighten up his day.
What sound does an Indian make when you're trying to fuck it? ieieieie.
10, being in the middle, tried to prevent 9/11 from getting closer.
Sorry, I meant 9 and 11.
Dentist: Open up, sir.
Me: So... I hate my life, my family, my sisters, my dog, my cat, and I tried to take a bath with my toaster, but my dog took it. That's why I hate my dog. And my cat died trying to chew my rope; it choked... Yea.
Dentist: I... meant your mouth... so I can clean your teeth.
Me: :O Ohhhh, my bad.
Dentist: Do you need help??
Me: Yep.
Dentist: ...
Me: ....