Try jokes
Orphan lady: Ok kids, someone donated groceries.
Orphans: YAY!
5 minutes later...
Orphans: Wait... where's the...
Orphan lady: *tries to hold daughter*
Person who donated: *holds milk in hand* hehe
I was trying to hang the lights when I accidentally kicked the chair.
What happened when the emo tried to high five a tree?
It left him hanging.
I tried to tell an Armenian genocide joke in Istanbul.
Nobody got it.
I murdered my friend's brother because he kept saying "HEE HEE" like Michael Jackson when I was trying to have a serious conversation. I just found out he was disabled. That's a THRILLER.
A grasshopper tries playing cricket. It failed and got eaten by the bat.
The orphan tried to play baseball, but he couldn't get home because home doesn't exist for him.
The gay kid tried to shoot up the school, but his shots would not go straight.
The emo tried to high five the tree, but the tree just left him hanging.
I threw a lamp at a depressed kid. I was just trying to brighten up his day.
What sound does an Indian make when you're trying to fuck it? ieieieie.
10, being in the middle, tried to prevent 9/11 from getting closer.
Sorry, I meant 9 and 11.
Dentist: Open up, sir.
Me: So... I hate my life, my family, my sisters, my dog, my cat, and I tried to take a bath with my toaster, but my dog took it. That's why I hate my dog. And my cat died trying to chew my rope; it choked... Yea.
Dentist: I... meant your mouth... so I can clean your teeth.
Me: :O Ohhhh, my bad.
Dentist: Do you need help??
Me: Yep.
Dentist: ...
Me: ....
When your little brother knocks your two Jenga towers you made with his toy airplane,
You: "Hey, stop trying to recreate the Twin Towers!"
I threw a lamp at the depressed kid. I was just trying to brighten up his day.
What's the hardest part about making vegetable stew?
Trying to get the wheelchair to fit into the pot.
I asked my girlfriend if we could try my rape fantasy last night. She said no. It was the best night of my life.
What cookies did the orphans never try?
Home made cookies!
One day Billy, Bob, and Doo Da went fishing in a small boat. None of them could swim, and they had no life jackets.
Doo Da suddenly started yelling, "I got one boys!" as he started trying to reel the fish in. It was way too large for him to get onto the boat, and he fell into the water. The fish had a nice meal that night. Billy and Bob were in shock but knew they had to tell Mrs. Doo Da.
Upon arriving at her house, they did rock, paper, scissors on who had to tell her the news. Bob lost. He slowly rang the doorbell, and Mrs. Doo Da answered. "U-uhm.. we...Doo D-Da..f-fish..." Bob stuttered, then he screamed and ran off. Billy went to go retrieve his friend. Billy had a nice little talk with him and slapped him across the face to get him to just say what happened. Soon, the two men returned to Mrs. Doo Da's house and rang the doorbell again. She opened the door and looked at the two men and asked, "I've been trying to call Doo Da, and he hasn't answered, is he ok?" Bob took a deep breath and took a step forward with a smile on his face. He sang, "We went fishing, guess who died, Doo Da, Doo Da. He smiled and he said good bye, we mourn Doo Da today."
People say that biting off your finger would be as easy as biting a carrot if your brain didn't try to stop you. How the f do people know that and how many people's fingers did they bite off before coming to that conclusion?