The only hood I like is pointy and white.
That's why I can't trust people when I don't see their face at night.
Hey, you wanna hear something funny?
An atom makes up everything. Half of this site contains this joke. Don't trust the internet, kids.
Recently, I've found out my wife has been cheating on me for the past 3 weeks with a baker downtown in Manhattan, New York, thinking I wouldn't find out. Irony of it all, she received a yeast infection.
I have good faith in the glue police. They usually stick to their word.
"How is your long distance relationship going?" -- "So far, so good."
My girlfriend accused me of cheating. I told her she was starting to sound like my wife.