Tons jokes
"What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?
One weighs a ton, and the other is a little lighter!"
What is similar between a ton of kids and some boxes?
Both of those are commonly found in basements.
Sans, you lazybones, get up and do something.
Sans: I am doing something.
Papyrus: Oh yeah, what?
Sans: Thinking up a skele-ton of jokes.
Papyrus: SANSSSsSsSsSssSsSSsSsSsSSsSSsSsSsS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I will end you.
Sans: What, does someone not have a funny bone? Oh wait, do you have a bone to pick with me? I have 206.
I never liked unnatural adult stars with implants and face surgeries because they look photoshopped, and they always need a ton of lube to get into due to how plastic they are.
So I came across a guy who was carrying a ton of clothing and makeup.
And I asked him what he is doing.
Guy: Some kawaii girl told me if I bought and brought her this crap, she would let me play with her tits.
Me: Erm... Are you a simp?
Two minutes later, the guy arrived at Kawaii Girl's house.
KG: You have it?
Guy: Yup, now can I play with them?
KG: Sure!
KG then went to her room.
Guy: Ohhhh, I know what your going to do. You're gonna call me over and you will be-
KG then held a bird cage with two birds in it.
KG: Have fun playing with them!
Guy: WHAT THE FU-
You heard a conversation between Sans and Papyrus:
Sans: "Sub bro."
Papyrus: "DON'T 'SUB' ME BROTHER! YOU STILL DIDN'T REDINTEGRATE YOUR PUZZLES!"
Sans: "Easy bro, I have done a ton of work today."
Sans: "A skele-ton."
(Drum effect)
Papyrus: "OH MY GOD SANS!"
Q: How much does a skeleton weigh?
A: A skele-TON.
What makes a skeleton laugh?
When you tickle his funny bone with a skele-TON of jokes!
Heh.
What does a skeleton say when it has a lot of stuff?
"I have a skele-TON of stuff to do."
I love it when cancer hits like a ton of bricks. The best part is when it kills people.
I have 2000 pounds of one-ton soup.
I've done a skele-TON of work to think of this joke. Trust me, I've got a FEW more jokes!
This will take a ton of time.
A skele-ton.
I have said a ton of jokes in my lifetime.
But I got fired from that job.
Someone: Hey, are you a skeleton?
A skeleton: Of course, I have a SKELE-ton of fans!
I did a ton of work today, a skele-ton.
Why couldn't the button get off the couch?
Because his butt weighed a ton! (butt-ton)
I've done a ton of work today.
A SKELE-ton of work!
What do we call a skeleton who has a ton of travels?
A skele-TON!
I may not be that good with puns on this site, but I got a skele-ton of jokes. Hey, what's the matter pal, is there something crawling under your skin?