Tons jokes

There was a Cheerio that had a job. He worked hard at it, and the boss came up and promoted him to the vice president of the Cheerios. So he needed a speech. He kept practicing and practicing and now he was thirsty. It was almost time for his speech, so he went to the drinking fountain, but there was a huge line. So he went to the lake, but he saw tons of garbage and what he thought was a cereal killer. So he found this bowl of punch, but he realized... there was no punchline.

I never liked unnatural adult stars with implants and face surgeries because they look photoshopped, and they always need a ton of lube to get into due to how plastic they are.

"What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One weighs a ton, and the other is a little lighter!"

I have 2000 pounds of one-ton soup.

I have said a ton of jokes in my lifetime.

But I got fired from that job.

This will take a ton of time.

A skele-ton.

What do we call a skeleton who has a ton of travels?

A skele-TON!

Has anybody else noticed that out of nowhere there are always tons of people online? It's kinda trippy if I'm being honest.

Why couldn't the button get off the couch?

Because his butt weighed a ton! (butt-ton)

How much do 2000 pounds of Chinese noodles weigh? Won Ton.

I've done a ton of work today.

A SKELE-ton of work!