New Tons Jokes

Explain Bear weighs 1 ton.

I just read in the news that tons of Americans are sending their old clothes to poor people in Africa.

Seems like a waste of time in my opinion. I've never seen an African with a 52 inch waist.

Tons of people committed suicide on 9/11 by destroying government property.

Not to mention and by plane.

After an unsuccessful harvest, why did the farmer decide to try a career in music?

Because he had a ton of sick beets.

How much do 2000 pounds of Chinese noodles weigh? Won Ton.

"What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One weighs a ton, and the other is a little lighter."

I have said a ton of jokes in my lifetime

But I got fired from that job

Has anybody else noticed that out of nowhere there are always tons of people online? Its kinda trippy if I'm being honest.

I either added you because we have shit tons of mutuals or cause I'd let you spit alcohol in my mouth. I'll let u decide

I never liked unnatural adult stars with implants and face surgeries...because they look photoshopped and they always need to require a ton of lube to get into due to how plastic they are.

Hey guys todays funnyiest prank: Is when I poored a bunch of red whine into the chicken salad...to be honest and was a TON of whine I purded in there! My family could not tell the dirfense at all! Anyway bye thats the prankster! Next time or see time next!

5, 4, 3, 2, 1. A castle weighs a ton. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. The Queen of England's won! I never thought she'd get it done, but her sister is a nun.

What makes a skeleton laugh? When you tickle his FUNNY BONE with a skele-TON of jokes!

Heh

So I came across a guy who was carrying a ton of clothing and makeup

And I asked him what he is doing

Guy: Some kawaii girl told me if i bought and brought her this crap, she would let me play with her tits

Me: Erm................Are you a simp?

Two minutes later, the guy arrived at Kawaii Girl's house

KG: You have it?

Guy: Yup, now can I play with them

KG: Sure!

KG then went to her room.

Guy: Ohhhh, I know what your going to do. Your gonna call me over and you will be-

KG then held a bird cage with two birds in it

KG: Have fun playing with them!

Guy: WHAT THE FU-

What is similar between a ton of kids and some boxes

Both of those are commonly found in basements

Someone:hey are you a skeleton? A skeleton: course, I have a SKELE-ton of fans

I maybe not that gppd with puns on this site but I got a SKELE-TON of jokes. Hey what's the matter pal, is there something crawling UNDER your skin

How much work does a skeleton get done?

A SKELE-TON!

Here are some skeleton jokes You know the average person tries to hard and works himself to the bone If that joke didn't tickle your funny bone i can give you a real humerous joke I used to play the trumpet now i play the xylo-bone im always happy nothing gets under my skin I made you some turkey for lunch Bone appetit Im glad i had you im no longer bonely Ive got a skele-ton of more jokes but i'm just giving you one more Did you hear about the skeleton ninja he was very skullful (skillful)