Toilet

Toilet Jokes

Dilemma

Would you rather:

Fight Mike Tyson

Or

Lick an elephant's butt after it took a crap with diarrhea?

Poop

Pooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooop! Hahahahhaha!

Toilet Paper

What do Star Trek and toilet paper have in common?

Both fly around Uranus and wipe out Klingons!

Orphan

An orphan uses a family bathroom, and when he comes out, he gets told, "This is a family bathroom."

Orphan

Why did orphans have to drink their own piss?

Because last time they went to the bar, they went with their dad and drank some Corona, then got drunk and started eating someone's toenails, so his dad went to go get the milk and everybody had to evacuate the bar. Then the orphan started walking on his teeth and got listed for the top ten wanted animals in the world, so then he felt wanted and went to go home and had nobody to go to, so he found the beer bottle he drunk out of and started pissing in it so he wouldn't die and loved it. So then someone saw him in the bushes pissing in a beer bottle then drinking, so the person who saw him started recording and posted it on YouTube, and the boy became famous, so now he can feel like he was wanted in life after daddy went to go get the milk, then the little boy became really rich.

Orphan

Why can't orphans go on vacation?

The last time they did, they fell in the toilet and had no one to help them out. Ugh!

Bum

Me: I broke me bum.

Dad: Oh, that is bad. I will get some Pooh in the toilet so I can heal your bum.

Poop

Oh, Mom, there is poop in the toilet still.

Mom: Oh, that was me and the dog.

Me: Wait, what????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

Butt

Me: Hey, have you seen my butt?

Him: No, have you seen where it is?

Me: Maybe here on your private part hehe.

Him: *dumps my head on the toilet* HAVE YOU SEEN YOUR ASS NOW, PERVERT?

Girl

What do girls and toilet roll have in common?

They both deal with a lot of crap.

Shit

What did one butt cheek say to the other?

"Together we can stop this shit!"

Orphan

Why are orphans always on the toilet?

Because they don't have anyone to give them some toilet paper!

Poo

POO I LOVE POO.

Here’s my song:

β€œPoo poo poo pooo pooe poop poop poopy.”

Thank you!

Pirate

The pirate looked down the toilet, and what did he see?

The captain's log.

Tigger

Where did Tigger go looking for Pooh?

In the toilet! 🚽 πŸ’© πŸ’© πŸ’©

Water

What is another name πŸ€” for Holy water πŸ’§πŸ’§πŸ’§πŸ’§πŸ’§πŸ’§πŸ’§πŸ’§πŸ’§ πŸ’§πŸ’§πŸ’§πŸ’§πŸ’§πŸ’§πŸ’§πŸ’§ 🚽 toilet water.