Throw jokes
What can you catch but not throw?
A cold!
Throw a plate.
It’s broken, right?
Say “sorry” to it.
Did it fix back?
No... that’s the same thing you did to me :)
A man who drinks a lot is told by his wife that if he ever gets drunk again she will leave him.
Later, the man goes to a pub and drinks a lot and throws up all down his jacket. 'Oh no,' he says to his friend, 'if I go home like this again, my wife will leave me.' 'Don't worry,' his friend says. 'Put a £20 note in your jacket pocket. When your wife challenges you, produce the money and say another man threw up on you and gave you the £20 note for the dry cleaning.' 'Brilliant!' the man says and goes home. He walks through his front door and his wife sees him. She is furious. 'No no,' the man says, producing the money from his inside pocket. 'A man threw up on me and gave me £20 for the dry cleaning.' 'What's the other £20 note for?' asks his wife. 'Ah, that's from the man who shat in my pants.....'
Why did the Mexican man throw his wife out of the window...
Ta kill her.
Why is a pro fighter like a fisher?
They both can throw a hook.
What's the difference between a baby and a brick?
A brick doesn't cry when you throw it on a wall.
One day I came to my mom and said, "MOM!!! I can make a butterfly!"
Mom: "No you can't..."
Me: *throws butter out the window* Me: "Look I made a butterfly!"
lol this isn't funny but I hope you liked it.
An American goes on a British bus after being in war. He wants to sit down, so he goes to the back of the bus to sit down, but there is an old woman on the seat with her dog in the next one.
The man says, "Will you move your dog?"
The lady says, "Oh, you Americans are always so demanding," and she says to sit somewhere else. He goes through and finds no seats, so now he's at the back again. This time he throws the dog out the window and sits down.
The man in front says, "You Americans always do things wrong. First, you drive on the wrong side of the road, then hold you knife and fork wrong, and you threw the wrong bitch out the window!"
My sister gives her hamster to my brother since she thinks I'm irresponsible, so I throw it out the window.
Why did the moron throw his clock out the window?
The clocks reminded him of Richard Clock, the convict who knife-raped his wife.
Riddles not jokes.
What has 4 legs but cannot walk?
What has bark but no bite?
There's a one-story house in which everything is orange. Orange walls, orange doors, orange furniture. What color are the stairs?
What has holes but can carry water?
What is in front of you, but cannot be seen?
What is something you have inside you that is pink, but cannot be seen?
What can you catch but not throw?
And last one:
What can rule, but not command?
Tell me the answers in the comments.
Like 90% of this was from this link: https://parade.com/947956/parade/riddles/
One more thing: Don't google it or search it up, use your brain to answer these.
Never attempt to foreshadow your own death, you may end up regretting it. You can chop me up and throw me in the fridge if I’m wrong.
My sis said only garlic and onions can make you cry.
So I threw an orange at her.
How do you make epileptic kids dance?
Throw a flash bang in their room.
Once there was a midget man jumping on a pothole saying 43, 43, 43. A kid walks up to the man and says, "Why are you saying 43, 43, 43?"
The man stops and looks at him, then he starts jumping again and says 43, 43, 43.
The kid asked him again and so on.
Then the man stops, opens the pothole, throws the kid in, closes it, and starts jumping and says 44, 44, 44!!!"
If you throw a nun, is it called a... Nunchuck???
What do you get when you throw a pile of dead babies into a fryer?
Kentucky Fried Children!
What's it called when you eat those same babies?
Finger Lickin' Good!
A teacher says to her class one day, "Whoever answers my next question can go home."
A boy throws his bag out the window.
The teacher asks, "Who just threw that?"
The boy says, "Me! I’m going home now."
An old man saw the TikTok trend of people throwing it back. The old man wanted to do it with his wife. The man set up everything needed and did the video. He threw it back first, then his wife, but instead of an old lady, it was ashes.
An action hero stops a man running by throwing a tire at him.
What is his one liner? "I told you to stop running or you will get tired."