Thereness jokes
A dad and son walk into a strip club. The people in the strip club said he was too young to be in here, so they had to leave. Ten years later, they went back there. They saw a small dancer. The father walked over there and said the woman looked too small to be in here. Her reply was... "I wasn't dancing ten years ago."
You should go back into the abortion bucket. Maybe you'll find half a brain in there.
Why can't emos come out of the closet to their parents?
Because they won't be there to stick around.
Knock knock.
"Who's there?"
Boo.
"Boo who?"
It's just a joke, no need to cry!
Knock, knock.
Who is there?
Deez.
Deez who?
Deez nuts!
Why can't you solve a murder in Alabama?
All the DNA is identical and there are no dental records.
Abortion is a really touchy subject for me. On one hand, there's dead babies! But on the other hand, women get a choice.
Do you like CDs?
There's this really cool one called "C Deez Nuts."
I asked my mom what her biggest regret was for a project at school, and she said, "Oh, go look in the bathroom above the sink..." There was a mirror.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Orphan.
Orphan who?
Orphan who needs a parent!
There are people who are beautiful, and then there are people whom I won't rape.
You know you're high when you hold all your pineapples hostage and yell, "SpongeBob, I know you're in there!"
Her husband prepares them a romantic dinner. The wife tells her husband about her desire for it. The husband was clueless about such acts. So, the wife tells him to strip naked on the couch and lay underneath her naked in the reverse missionary position.
She starts thrusting with his meat inside of her and starts waiting for him to thrust along with her thrusts. However, the husband didn’t know what to do, so he just laid there. Suddenly the wife had an urge to pee, but held it in because her husband’s joystick was right inside her. She loses control after a while and lets one drip out. The wife apologizes profusely and continues thrusting her husband. A couple of minutes later, she feels the urge again and lets another drip of urine run down the husband’s schlong to his pelvis.
The husband throws the wife from the couch, gets up, and says,
"Honey, if you think I’ll be screwed by you for more of that, you’re out of your mind."
Knock knock.
Who's there?
I did ap.
I did ap who? (I did a poo)
EEWW you did a poo???
What’s the best part about sex with 28-year-olds?
There are twenty of them.
Michael Jackson is happy when there are twenty-eight-year-olds.
So, at school there are these twins. At my school, I folded two paper airplanes to throw at them. Once I realized why it felt so wrong to do it, I had already threw them. I hit the north, then the south one.
"Knock, knock."
"Orphan: Who's there?"
"Not your parents."
There are Three Sons: Journey, Korean, and Little Joe. They were trapped on a floating island, and a priest gave them each one wish.
The first son wished to go back to the ground. The Second Son wished to go back to the ground. The third son was lonely and wished for his two brothers to come back to the floating island.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Wilma.
Wilma who?
Wilma dik fit in your mouth.