There jokes

Mum

72 views ·

Mum finds out child cheats in math test.

Mom says, "There is no cheating in this house."

Child: "Then why did you cheat with my math teacher last night?"

Hairline

2 views ·

I had to take the underground just to get from your forehead to your hairline, they're so far apart!!!

Razor

20 views ·

There were two friends talking one day. Tim tells John, "I think I'm gay."

John says to Tim, "What do you mean?"

Tim says, "When I grow up, I want to dress like a woman and sing karaoke in a bar and call myself (Gillette the best a man can get)!"

John says to Tim, "I think you're right, and thanks for reminding me I need to buy razors."

Stuff

4 views ·

Me: What do we need from there? I have a few things to do before I head out to the store, and then I will be home to pick up the stuff.

Random person: What stuff? 🤨

Me: What?

The person: You said you’re going to pick up “the stuff”!!! What do you mean by that?!

Me: Colourful flamingo fart.

Stereotype

10 views ·

A: What do you call a sophisticated American? B: Canadian.

A: Why aren't there any Mexicans in Canada? B: They can't run that far.

«A: Что вы называете искушенным американцем? Б: Канадец.

A: Почему в Канаде нет ни одного мексиканца? Б: Они не могут убежать так далеко».

Orphan

1 view ·

Why don’t orphans understand the meaning of a family reunion?

Because they’re not wanted, yet maybe they should rob a 🏦 bank ;)

Orphan

3 views ·

Why do orphans that go to their friend's house get this reaction from the friend's mom:

"Go back to your house, it's late." "Finn, wait, can I have your mom's phone number?" "Finn, wait, aren't you an orphan?" "Wait, don't you have a phone, Finn?" "Wait, I forgot, you don't have a phone because nobody wanted to get you a phone or to get you."

Coke

15 views ·

I snorted a line of coke off my 8-year-old sister’s tiny prepubescent vag. She just laid there and let me do it without complaining, probably because she was already dead.

Sex

18 views ·

Here's a sex joke.

What's the best part of having sex with 28 year olds? There's 20 of them.

Kid

29 views ·

There's no Asian kids in my class, but it just happens to be the rice store and the pet store just ran out of stock...