There jokes
POV: You walk up to your short friend and say, "How is the weather down there?"
What does an orphan have in common with an 80-year-old woman? Their parents will never come back.
There is this celebrity everybody thought was so down to earth. That was until he hung himself.
When your mom says it will all be ok if you just......... *there is blood on the floor*
I went to my girlfriend's house one day in Alabama when I met her brother. He said, "Well, I guess there's no more you stuck in the dryer."
Knock, knock? Who's there? A mirror, I'm lonely.
You're so small that when you go to the doctor, he doesn’t know you're there.
I once went up to an orphan and they were crying, and I asked where their parents are, and they started crying more.
Once there was a man. A man who had a butt.
Once he was at this job interview and he was going to get the job, but just before the boss was going to hire him, he farted. It was a really bad one. It was 47 minutes long and so loud the windows rattled. When it was over, the man screamed and jumped out the window.
He didn't get the job.
Why do orphans have water with their cereal?
Because dad never came home with the milk.
If there was a girl and a boy and the boy fell, what did the boy do to the girl?
He fell for her.
Why do orphans live on the street?
They don't have parents to put a roof over their head.
Listen, Man United might not thank me but get the contract out, put it on the table. Let him sign it, let him write whatever numbers he wants to put on there, given what he's done since he's come in. Ole's at the wheel, man. He's doing it. He's doing his thing. Man United are BACK.
OWWWWWWWWWWW I JUST GOT A CUT ON MY BUTT. Oh wait, that’s always been there.
Why did the chicken cross the road to get to the gay man's house?
Knock knock, it's the gay man. There's a chicken at my house.
There is this girl at school, and she gets bullied for being in a wheelchair.
Why doesn’t she stand up for herself?
Please folks, you can hit the thumbs up button on the ones you like. There is no need to repost.
Anyways,
Knock knock Who's there? Can I come in? Can I come in who? Can I Come In You!?
More often than not, I will cry when I masturbate. Some nights I'm a real tear jerker!
But on the nights and I smoke a lil pot and then masturbate, my dad ends up bugging me because I am a weed wacker.
How do you keep a dog from humping your leg? Pick him up and suck his dick.
How does Popeye keep his manly part from rusting? He sticks it in Olive Oil.
Snow White and the seven dwarfs are in the the tub feeling "HAPPY". Happy got out now they are fucking "GRUMPY".
What's worse than waking up and finding a "Penis" drawn on your forehead? Finding out it was "Traced".
If I had a rooster and you had a donkey and your donkey ate my rooster what would you have? 3 feet of my cock up your ass.
Did you know Batman was actually Black? Yeah he couldn't go a night with out Robyn!
Did you hear Gods Word Of The Day? Its Legs! Now lets go out and spread them.
What do you call a Mexican woman with no legs? Cunt-sway-low
Whats worse than sucking 25 oysters out of your Grandmas Pussy? Realizing you only put in 15.
I asked someone why they were crying. They told me that they had to abort their twins.
Then someone yelled "DAMN DOUBLE HOMICIDE!"
Why are orphans very abusive to their kids?
Because they never had loving parents of their own.
I wrote a few jokes:
What does a 15-year-old boy do without two hands when his parents are not at home? Well, obviously do not jerk off.
Yesterday a girl from my job invited me to her home and there I had crazy sex. I could not think that her mother is so hot.
What will happen the morning after the destruction of humanity? Duncan MacLeod makes himself breakfast.