Their jokes

Q: What do you call a cat living with a vet? A: A dead, shrivelled up cat on her death bed that is attached to their owner.

Isn't It Purrfect!

A man came up to a girl about to jump off a cliff. The man said, "Why?" She then replies, "There are many monsters in this world, and I am one of them."

Why don't lesbians like dick? Because they don't want their mouths looking like Jesus Christ's hands.

I talk about the girls in my math class simping over anime characters and making random ships as well as for Miraculous Ladybug children's show, whatever the show is called, but it's a kids show. 💀 Now they’re searching up pictures of Tom Holland laughing in their absolute weirdness.

I like Tom Holland, but these kids man, they like him like they’re in a relationship. They might as well start kissing and licking the screen. They’re probably writing fanfictions in their free time when they aren’t searching up kids show characters, anime characters, and Tom Holland pics on their SCHOOL CHROMEBOOK. Their only device choice was a school-provided laptop which is monitored by the school while they are writing fan fictions on Google Docs and searching up some weird Tom Holland stuff. Imagine how Tom Holland would feel if he found out that there are 11 year old girls searching up some weird stuff about him.

There was an enemy with a machine gun.

My commander said, "Un-arm the enemy."

So I ran over to the enemy and chopped his arms off.

Why can't an orphan go on away games?

Their parent will never show up!

Hey, 2001 just called.

They want their towers back.

What do rednecks find when they research their family tree?

Their INCESTors!

Why were the UK and the USA bad at chess?

Because they lost their queen and two towers.

What's the last thing to go through the minds of 9/11 victims?

Their kneecaps.

Witches do not wear undies. Why? To get a better grip on their broomsticks.

Why don't bald eagles brush their teeth? Because they don't have teeth! xD

Science experts say when you get mad, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?

What happens if a redneck is bisexual? Do they go for their brother or sister?

Why do dogs lick their balls? Because they can.

Where do orphans go to celebrate graduation?

Their parents.

If an orphan got hit, will they go tell their parents?

My friend asked me if bees can fly in the rain. I replied, "Not without their yellow jackets!"

How do homeless people punish their children?

What are their children going to do? Go to their room?

A girl and dog get dropped off at an orphanage. Why was she crying before she went in? Because the people came back for their dog!