The jokes
I got a new job at a trampoline park the other day. If I’m being honest, it’s got its ups and downs.
Why did the dog cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Teacher: What is the capital of Washington?
Dumb kid: The W???
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
You look for the fresh prints.
Someone asked me what the worst mistake you could make while being at work was, and I replied, "Being a doctor and mixing up the oral and rectal thermometers."
Bin Laden was the hide and seek champion for 10 years, 2001-2011.
What did one skeleton say to the other?
Skeleton 1: "I need a hand!"
Skeleton 2: (Throws up hand)
Skeleton 1: "That wasn't very humerus."
Skeleton 2: "Why do you have to be so heartless?"
Skeleton 1: "At least I had the guts to tell you!"
Why didn't the newest Star Wars movie start with the classic scrawl?
Because it was a Rogue One!
The other day my computer crashed. Luckily, there were no injuries.
What did the knife say to the other knife?
"Knife to meet you."
Why did Harry fall out of the boat?
Because he's hooked!
What is the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a Harley Davidson?
The location of the Dirtbag.
What do James Doyle and Hannah Doyle have in common?
John fucked them both in the rear.
We have some leak in the fridge. I'm surprised nobody has called a plumber.
What's the difference between America and a flash drive?
One is USA, the other is USB. 😂😂😂
Yo mama so stupid, when she was in court and the judge said, "Order, order," she said, "Pizza."
Did you hear about the guy that was cutting off people's feet and taking them?
It took my sole.
What’s the same between a pregnant 14 year old and her fetus?
They’re both saying “Oh my god my mom’s gonna kill me!”
I heard every single machine in the coin factory just broke down all of a sudden.
It just doesn’t make any cents!
This website sucks, it never cites the correct information.