The jokes
What did the bowler say when the balls were on the lane and the pin? They said, "Strike!" 😂😂😂😂
How many people can you fit in a car?
6 - 3 in the back, 2 in the front, and my nan in the ashtray.
Why can orphans never go to the shops?
'Cause the Talibans will plane dive into them.
What happens when a depressed kid try’s to high-five a tree?
The tree leaves them hanging.
The boyfriend says to the explosive dude: "You're the bomb!" The explosive dude says: "Wow, that was Whitty."
What instrument do orphans play?
The sax alone.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
He thought he saw his parents.
Oasis, am I right?
What's the difference between a bison and a buffalo?
You can't wash your face in a buffalo.
What’s a lung’s favorite type of exercise?
Breathing exercises.
I told this to my English teacher, and he said it to the class, and no one laughed. Someone help!
Why are they called "breaking news" in the entire world?
Because they are breaking the whole entire news.
What did the bird go to the hospital for?
For tweetment!
You go up to a bar and say, "Hi." He doesn’t look at you. You keep saying, "Hi." He says, "What?" Then you realize that he is the one that you stole his lady from, but then he doesn’t give you any drink. You say, "Why?" He screams at you and then says, "YOU'RE FIVE!"
When the C.I.A. raided Osama Bin Laden’s house, they found Steam on his computer. This means he was a gamer. He raged a little too hard and went for New York.
A twelve-volt battery walks into a tavern and orders a drink. The bartender serves him, and comments, "Now don't start anything."
A man was taking a child into a dark forest.
The child said, "I'm scared!"
The man replied, "Well I have to walk home alone."
Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?
Because he wanted to win no-bell prize!
Why do cats like to sleep on the floor?
'Cause it's a car-PET.
What's the difference between a Ranga and a Brick?
A Brick can get laid.
What does the blind man say when walking past the fish market?
“Good evening, ladies.”
What is brown and sticky?
What is white and gooey?
What is long and hard?
(Tell me in the comments)