The jokes
Kid: I have the corona virus!
Nurse: Here is an ice pack.
Vegans: Save the Earth.
Normal People: We're trying to, but you guys keep eating it!
Why did Sally fall out the window?
She was pushed.
Why were the people during 9/11 mad because they ordered pepperoni sandwiches, but they got two planes?
This guy in a trench coat walks up to a kid, opens the trench coat and has glasses inside.
He says to the kid, “Hey kid, want some extra-see?”
Memes
What is the difference between tuna, a piano, and glue? You can tuna a piano, but you cannot piano a tuna.
(The person you ask should say what about the glue.) Response: I knew you would get stuck there.
Where did Amy go after the explosion?
Everywhere.
Why is the USA so bad at chess? It already lost 2 towers.
Johnny had 55 pineapples. He threw three at his friend. How many does he have now?
None, because he was pistol whipped then shot at point blank range with a sawed off shotgun covered in fluoroantimonic acid which burned a hole in his skull causing his brain to melt and rupture nerve cells all over his friends. Then his arms and legs were stuffed into a wheat thresher which was used to harvest the meat of the enslaved children. Then his corpse was molested.
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
Wipe his ass.
What happens when an angel and nun "have some fun and forget pills"?
The nun gets pregNUNt.
Why are hospitals always freezing?
They need to keep the vegetables cold.
Why are all women's feet small? So they can stand closer to the stove.
What is the difference between a mosquito and a blonde?
A mosquito stops sucking after you f*cking slap it.
How does the dog dance?
He doesn't... he's dead.
What did the penis say to its pee?
"Urine."
What did the watch say to the failing watch company?
"You better watch it!"
Are you in the alphabet 'cause I wanna give you the D.
(Note: this joke is not one of the worst jokes ever because it is obscene or offensive; it’s just a bad joke.) Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because they’re dead.
I wanna be the very best, like no one ever was.
To bitch them is my real test, to train them is my cause.
I will travel across the land, searching far and wide.
Fuse Pokemon to UnderStand, the power that’s inside.
Poke him on! Gotta train them all it’s Fru and me, All I know is my dress tiny, Poke him on! Yeah, you’re my best friend, In a world you must defend, Poke him on! Gotta train them all my shirts so true, My outrage will flush us through. You bitch me and I ditch you, P-O-K-E-M-O-N!!! Gotta train them all, Gotta train them all! Pokemon!