The jokes
Husband: Can we try anal tonight? Wife: Fuck that shit! Husband: That's the spirit!
Do you ever consider during the cremation that the meat is well done?
Why can an orphan never get picked up?
Because the white van did not come that day. HAHA BIG LOL
Your mama is so funny looking that when the doctor called her, he said, "Never visit me again. I hope you die!"
What's the best finger for fingering A minor?
You're so fat, when you fall, the sidewalk cracks.
Me to an orphan: If you had a penny for everyone who loved you, I don't think you'd have any.
The orphan: But why?
Me: Because if someone loved you, they wouldn't have thrown you out.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple gets picked.
What's the difference between a dad and an Emo?
They both don't last a while.
What’s the difference between Isaac Newton and the kid I kidnapped?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
What do Madeline McCann and a submarine have in common?
Both are at the bottom of the ocean full of seamen!
Yo mama so fat, she can’t even fit in the living room!
What do the people in heaven that died on the Titanic call the Titanic? The Dietanic.
Why did the orphan dig six feet under?
To find his parents.
I asked my class what comes before 47. Everyone said 46, except for the quiet kid who said, "AK."
What do you call a blonde in the freezer?
Her parents named her Jessica, so we should probably continue to call her that. She was supposed to graduate tomorrow.
Why were the Twin Towers angry?
Because they ordered pepperoni pizza, and all they got was plane.
I saw a kid sitting on the curb and I asked him, "Are you an orphan?"
He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?" "You're parents did."
Why do humans hate aliens?
Because Fortnite took them out of the game, and I want aliens back in Fortnite!
What is the difference between a suicidal person and you? You're not dead.