The jokes
Better Friday the 13th than Monday the 13th.
My friend fell on the Nile river and Egypt last week.
He swears by it, but he’s in denial.
A normal exorcism is getting a demon out of a person, but a reverse exorcism is the devil telling the priest to get out of the child.
What's the difference between you and an egg?
An egg gets laid.
A guy is talking to an Indian therapist.
He had a red dot, and the American thought it was from a sniper rifle and tackled him and said, "I thought the red dot on your head was from a sniper rifle!"
What's the difference between a Mexican and a Black person? One gets paid, the other got enslaved.
Riddle me this, Batman, what's long, round, and has cum in the middle?
Batman: A dick.
Riddler: NO NO NOOO! It's a cucumber!
Have you heard of the current event in Africa?
It’s known as the Hunger Games.
How do you ground a person in a wheelchair?
Take off the wheels!
Yo mama's so fat, when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND the house.
Me walking in to the office:
Principal: Tell me what you did?
Me: I told the special ed kid that the 4th story window was an end portal...
When you're in the middle of a test and you hear gun shots.
One twin tower had a girlfriend. The other twin tower had the same girlfriend, so they both went down.
What is the difference between a woman and ice? The ice always comes back.
Yo mama is so ugly that when Santa came to the house and saw a picture of her, he died.
What is the most awkward moment when Helen Keller is playing pin the tail on the donkey?
Her friends aren’t sure whether to blindfold her.
What does a cop say when they shoot ginger?
"Orange is the new black."
What’s an Emo’s favorite exercise?
The dead hang.
Why aren’t Make-A-Wish kids allowed to fly?
Because they rarely make it out of the terminal.
What did the blind man say the first time he touched sandpaper?
“What in the world did I just read?”