The jokes

The more suicidal people there are, the less suicidal people there are.

I was asked at school to draw a line across the paper, but instead I showed them my wrists.

What is the best part about Alabama prostitutes?

Family comes first.

Yo mama so fat when she stepped on the scale it said, "To be continued."

So I was sitting on the couch with a woman, and I asked her, "Does this napkin smell like chloroform?"

What's bigger than the Milky Way?

Michael Jackson's nose.

When Bob the Builder looks at your hairline, he says, "We can't fix that."

The past, the present, and the future walk into a bar.

It was tense.

Yo mama's so fat that she doesn't need the internet because she is already worldwide.

What's the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?

Snowballs.

Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love, and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

After God created 24 hours of alternating darkness and light, one of the angels asked him, "What are you going to do now?"

God said, "I think I'm going to call it a day."

Why did the picture go to jail?

Cause it was framed!

What did the Hiroshima survivor say about the day Little Boy dropped? "It was a blast!"

A priest asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, "Any last requests?" "Yes," replied the murderer, "Will you please hold my hand?"

When the chair was invented, the inventor's friend wanted to know what it did. The inventor replied: "You might want to sit down for this."

What did one tampon say to the other tampon when they walked by each other on the street?

Nothing. They were both stuck up cunts!

When the school shooter walks by the emo kid and doesn’t feel his gun anymore.

My teacher gave us an assignment, and one of the questions was "What do you want to be when you grow up?"

I answered, "Happy."

The teacher said I didn't understand the test. I said to her that she didn't understand life.

What did the choir boy sing to the priest? Nothing, his mouth was full.