The jokes
The past, the present, and the future walk into a bar.
It was tense.
Yo mama's so fat that she doesn't need the internet because she is already worldwide.
What's the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
Snowballs.
So I was sitting on the couch with a woman, and I asked her, "Does this napkin smell like chloroform?"
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love, and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
After God created 24 hours of alternating darkness and light, one of the angels asked him, "What are you going to do now?"
God said, "I think I'm going to call it a day."
Why did the picture go to jail?
Cause it was framed!
9/11 was like the 4th of July. It was very bright in the skies.
When the chair was invented, the inventor's friend wanted to know what it did. The inventor replied: "You might want to sit down for this."
What did one tampon say to the other tampon when they walked by each other on the street?
Nothing. They were both stuck up cunts!
When the school shooter walks by the emo kid and doesn’t feel his gun anymore.
Mexican jokes and black jokes are pretty much the same.
Once you've heard Juan, you've heard Jamal.
My teacher gave us an assignment, and one of the questions was "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
I answered, "Happy."
The teacher said I didn't understand the test. I said to her that she didn't understand life.
A priest asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, "Any last requests?" "Yes," replied the murderer, "Will you please hold my hand?"
What did the Hiroshima survivor say about the day Little Boy dropped? "It was a blast!"
What did Hitler say after his parents bought a hauler?
How much did the haulla-cost?
The twin towers are like my parents, only one came back.
I don’t like making jokes about 9/11. My grandad died in it, he was the greatest pilot I ever knew.
Now that Stephen Hawking is dead, the jokes will start to roll in just like he used to.
What did the choir boy sing to the priest? Nothing, his mouth was full.