The jokes

Who was the knight on the Round Table that only ate meat?

Sir Loin.

What does a woman do when she leaves the battered women's shelter?

"Cook my dinner, if she knows what's good for her."

What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?

She choked.

A white guy was telling his friend about this girl he hooked up with. His friend asks, "Did you get her number?"

He replies, "No, but it's okay, I'll see her at the next family reunion!"

At school, this gurl was like, "You're ugly!" And I'm like, "Gurl, your mirror cracks the moment you step in front of it."

What's the difference between orphans and dogs?

Dogs get adopted.

What’s the best thing about 26 year olds?

There are 20 of them.

What do you call a group of emo kids?

The suicide squad.

JACK AND JILL 2.0

After Jill went down the hill to get a pill,

Jack was screaming till his voice went nil,

And Jill screamed "Chill!"

Ariana Grande agrees with me on something: women belong in the kitchen and bedroom.

What's the difference between a painting and Jesus?

A painting only needs one nail.

I know this isn't the real chicken wing song, but my version...

"Chicken wing, chicken wing, I want your mommy. Slap her with my hairy salami while she's still yawning."

Make your own chicken wing song and put it in the comments... :)

I saw a website for orphans. It was a bit confusing because I could not find the homepage.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to the fool's house.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

The chicken.

If chickens wake up when the rooster crows, then when do ducks wake up?

At the quack of dawn.

You're so ugly you scared the crap out of the toilet!

Q: What season can an orphan see their family tree?

A: Fall.

If you don't get it, in the fall trees have no leaves, there [are] just empty branches, like an orphan's tree.

What has more brains than a student in a school shooting? The wall behind them.

Why was the DJ banned from the supermarket?

He was stealing all the samples.

Why is the Champs d'Elysees in Paris lined with trees?

Because German soldiers like marching in the shade!