The jokes

Sandpaper

I gave my blind friend a piece of sandpaper. He said it was the most gruesome book ever.

Principal

Boy: The principal is so dumb!

Girl: Do you know who I am?

Boy: No...

Girl: I am the principal's daughter!

Boy: Do you know who I am?

Girl: No...

Boy: Good! *Walks away*

September 11

"Among Us" is a game (Skeld) where there is an imposter trying to hijack the ship and kill everyone. Does this sound similar to September 11, 2001?

Orphan

The orphan asked a genie to become Batman. Then he went home and saw his parents dead.

Peanut

What's the difference between a peanut and a priest?

With a peanut, you have to break the shell open for the nut to come out.

Funeral

My elderly relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying, “You’ll be next!”

They soon stopped though, once I started doing the same to them at funerals.

Cannibal

WAIT! I remember how the joke goes! These two cannibals are hanging out eating lunch, which is a clown, you see, 'cause they're cannibals and one cannibal says to the other cannibal, "Does this taste funny to you?"

Orphanage

I saw this kid sitting on the sidewalk and asked him where are his parents?

I love working at an orphanage.

Pizza

Why were 9/11 victims so mad?

They ordered three pepperoni pizzas, not two planes!

Hitler

When a woman removes polish with chemicals, no one bats an eye.

But when Hitler removes the Polish with chemicals, everyone loses it...

Emo kid

Don't make fun of the emo kid, or he's gonna bring his friends and you gotta fight the Suicide Squad.

Hitler

Say what you want about Hitler, at least he got the trains to run on time.

Drug Addict

What was the drug addict's favorite nursery rhyme?

I'm a little crack pot short and stout, put that crack pipe in my mouth, sell my body or sell my couch, get that lighter and smoke me out!

Yo mama

Yo mama so slow, she took nine months to make the joke. Thank god mine only took 6.