The jokes

Leaf

How did the retard get hurt raking the leaves?

Fell out of the tree.

Orphanage

Cemeteries should be built next to orphanages, so the orphans can see their parents.

Dandruff

How did we know Princess Diana had dandruff?

'Cause the police found her Head and Shoulders on the dash.

Uncle

My uncle is a computer genius! The police even called him a PDF file!

Difference

What's the difference between a baby and a brick?

A brick doesn't cry when you throw it on a wall.

Orphan

Why did the orphan call Mr. Smith "daddy"? Because he put her in the vices and taught her a lesson about virginity.

Dad

Dad: I'm dying.

Son: Hi dying, I'm [name].

Dad: Really, now is not the time.

Son: I'm sorry.

Dad: Hi sorry, I'm Dad. (dies)

Momma

Boy, your momma so ugly she’s denied from the homeless parties in the dumpster.

Quiet kid, your momma so funny she made a joke pop out her a*s.

Similarity

A: What's the similarity between your girlfriend and the sun?

B: They're both hot?

A: They're both massive.

Tank

Chuck Norris once pissed in the tank of a semi as a joke.

It is now known as Optimus Prime.

Slut

Who is the biggest slut in the world? Ms. Pacman, because you give her 25 cents and she swallows balls until she dies.

Fall

Q: Why did Sally fall off the building?

A: Her dad pushed her.

Leper

What did the leper say to the prostitute?

"Don't worry, you can keep the tip."