The jokes
Punch an orphan in the face what they gonna do? Tell there parents
What type of teacher doesn't fart in public?
A private tutor/tooter.
I called my boss the other Monday and told him I needed the day off because I was sick. He said, "How sick?"
I said, "Well, I'm in bed with my 12-year-old sister."
Why did the crumb cake isolate himself? He had a crumbling social life.
Where were the first French Fries 🍟 made?
In Greece.
What does LGBTQ+ mean? Is it the premium version of GAY?
What is the email password of a black person?
"watermelon"
Gun control in America is perfect the way it is, because the other day my daughter was seeing a boy and i caught them in bed. Then i pulled out my shotgun and nearly shot him. As he was running away I shouted " The only person allowed to f*ck my daughter is me!".
What did the skeleton say to the genderless child? "You're fucking dead, mate."
What is the scariest thing you'll ever see in your life? James Charles thinking he has rights.
When Stephen Hawking was asked why he was instantly attracted to his new girlfriend, he said, "It's simple, she pushes all the right buttons."
Three blonde girls are on an island, and they are much too far away from land to swim. They find a genie on the island who offers them each one wish. The first girl says, "I wish I was smart enough to get off this island!" So the genie makes her a redheaded girl, she cuts down a tree, makes it into a boat, and proceeds to row off the island.
The next girl says, "I wish I was even smarter than her so I don't have to do so much manual labor!" So she turns into a brunette and makes a sailboat and lets the wind take her off the island.
The final girl says, "I wish I was smarter than both of them!" So she turns into a man and takes the bridge.
Why are Mexicans so bad in the Olympics?
Because all the ones that can run, jump, and swim live in America.
According to all known laws of aviation, a bee should not be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground, but of course, bees fly anyway because bees don't care about what humans think is impossible.
Yellow, Black. Yellow, Black.
Why is there no woman on the moon?
Because it doesn't need to be cleaned.
Am I the only one who's on here because it's not blocked on the school laptop and I can't use my phone in class?
Cows go moo.
"Rape[is] the only sign of world peace in this life."
What's the difference between herpes and my dad?
Herpes stays around.
They put the woman's rights in the fantasy section in the library.
I have a friend whose birthday is on September 11th.
They're going to have an explosive party that will definitely blow you away!
It's gonna be the bomb, and a blast, too!