The jokes
Why didn't the bear go to college?
Because bears don't go to college.
What do a girl and a bar have in common?
A- Liquor in the front, poker in the back!
There was a Mexican magician. He was going to disappear on the count of three.
1-2-..... and he left without a trace.
Why did the Star Wars movies come out 4, 5, 6, 1, 2, 3?
Yoda was in charge of scheduling.
What did the hooker say when she found out the cash she was paid with for services rendered was counterfeit?
I've been raped!
Me: Tells a racist joke on the internet and no one bats an eye.
Also me: Tells the same joke at KFC and everybody loses their mind.
Things we all do:
Call the Royal blue tang fish the "Dory fish," and the Clownfish "Nemo fish"! 🤣
I do this too often!
"Yes, officer! It was a requirement to run over that child. It matched perfectly with the beat drop!"
The "W" in Africa stands for water.
Why did the teacher get arrested?
He gave the orphan homework!
Did you hear about the gay choirboy?
He choked on his first hymn.
Why did the girl quit her job at the donut factory?
She was fed up with the hole business.
If the American Dream exists, why is it always filmed in Canada?
A boat carrying red paint and a boat carrying blue paint crashed into each other. The crews were marooned.
What's the difference between a PC and a 6 year old? I don't have to clean out my PC.
What is the difference between my Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies?
I don't keep my Lamborghini in my garage.
The Smithsonian has 3 notable articles of clothing on display: Mr. Rodger's sweater, Jerry Seinfeld's puffy shirt, and Stephen Hawking's drool rag.
Why did the students eat their homework?
Because the teacher said it would be a piece of cake! 🎂😂
What is the difference between a wheelchair and a walker?
An old man takes his grandson fishing in a local pond one day.
After 20 minutes of fishing, the old man fires up a cigar. The young boy asks, "Grandpa, can I have a cigar?" The old man asks, "Son, can your dick touch your asshole?" The young boy says no. "Then u can't have a cigar." Another 20 minutes passes, and the old man opens a beer. The young boy asks, "Grandpa, can I have a beer?" The old man asks, "Son, can your dick touch your asshole?" The young boy says no. "Well, then u can't have a beer."
Another 20 minutes passes and the young boy opens a bag of potato chips.
The old man asks, "Son, can I have some of your chips?" The boy asks, "Well, Grandpa, can your dick touch your asshole?" The old man says, "It sure can." The boy says, "Well good, then go fuck yourself, these are my chips."