The jokes
What is better than winning the gold medal at the Special Olympics? Having arms and legs.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side. Y'all knew this one, fr.
I think it’s dumb that people say a woman belongs in the kitchen.
How else is the rest of the house going to get cleaned?
Why were glow-in-the-dark condoms made?
To play Star Wars.
Official flag of Great Britain? The Union Jack.
Official flag of Australia? The Southern Cross.
Official flag of Canada? The Maple Leaf.
Official flag of Japan? The Sun.
Official flag of Orange County, California? The Nazi Symbol.
Memes
Q: Why was the gay man fired from the sperm bank?
A: He got caught drinking on the job.
Do y'all know the saying "Hang in there?" Well, fuck that, because I might as well be hanging myself.
What's the difference between me and a rope?
A rope will hang with you.
Hi, I am just wondering who went into my account, 'cause I've changed my password, by the way.
Why is April the smartest month?
It can never be fooled.
I love the way the Earth rotates.
It really makes my day!
You know the drill, but do you know the hammer? Hah, nailed that one.
But I also think I screwed it up.
Why does the sky think it's so powerful?
Because it's always looking down on us.
They toss and turn to the sound of thunder, but I got watermelon to soothe my slumber!
I was at an emotional wedding. The cake was in tiers.
Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.
What do tigers wear in the winter?
A striped sweater.
What's the difference between a dirty bus station and a lobster with breast implants?
One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean.
Where did Sally go when the explosion happened?
Everywhere!
I was walking by the gun shop earlier and saw everything was 40% off. I didn't know back to school sales were already starting.