The jokes
You're so fat that you were the iceberg that made the Titanic sink.
A mouse said, "Who should put the bell on the cat?" Then all mice said, "The old one."
What is the worst thing about licking a bald fanny?
Putting the nappy on afterwards.
What do you call gulls in the sea? Seagulls!
What did the farmer who lost his tractor say?
*waits 25 seconds*
"I lost my tractor!"
Memes
Me: I broke me bum.
Dad: Oh, that is bad. I will get some Pooh in the toilet so I can heal your bum.
What did the chicken say after he died? Nothing.
Why did Monaco cross the road? It smashed a 1-mile radius of the road + the chicken.
What is the difference between you and me? I have parents and yours left...
How did the United States become a country? It broke all of its states.
A guy walks into a bar with a 44 magnum and yells, "Who the fuck fucked my wife?" The guy behind the bar says, "Mate, you don't have enough bullets!"
My wife and I went to the bar to get a drink, but 2 mins later, I see her dead on the ground. I guess she couldn't see the bottle flying at her face. Then I laughed and went home.
What is the same thing between apples and orphans?
Apples actually get picked.
What is the most useless part of a vagina?
The woman.
What does CNN stand for? The Counterfeit News Network.
Little Red Riding Hood says to the wolf: "What a big dick you have!"
Wolf: "The better to f*** you with!"
Hi, my name is unknown guy! Please comment on the pictures I show you and join my group!
What what's the cloud private place to go? Among us, cows.
Did you hear about the cannibal that passed his brother in the woods?
Yo momma so fat when she went in the Skeld, she couldn't be ejected.