The jokes
"Hey, is that a peach?"
*gets slapped on the butt*
"Noted."
People have houses, but I don't have a house because I don't have parents, said the orphan.
What do squirrels eat at the fair? A-corn dog.
Heard about the new event in Africa? Called the Hunger Games.
Me: Sister, are you wearing makeup?
My sister wearing all the world's makeup.
Sister: Just a little.
Memes
What do women and dog turds have in common?
The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.
Ya know, genders are kind of like the Twin Towers.
There used to be 2 of them, but now it’s a touchy subject.
You're so ugly Bob the Builder cat can fix you.
Your mama so fat she got in to the pool, the water got out and big mama! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
What did the tissue wear?
A shoe.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
What's green and has wheels?
Grass, I was just lying about the wheels.
Why did the orphan drop the soap in prison? So he can have a prison daddy.
What's green and has wheels? Grass.
I was just lying about the wheels.
Why do orphans love to play family?
Because it's the closest they will be to being normal.
Times have been so tough lately, I have had to jerk off the dog just to feed the cat.
Why didn’t the toilet paper cross the road?
'Cause there was a crack!
God: Why is the teenager so short?
Angel: I don't know.
God: I said, "Strong as a bear!"
Angel: No, you said, "Ass hair."
God: No, I didn't!
The fucking cat!
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple actually gets picked.