The jokes

Planet

Me: Name all the planets.

Other person: Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Neptune, Mercury, Uranus.

Me: Not my anus!

Flame

"FUCK FUCK FUCK MY CLOTHES CAUGHT THE FLAME OH MY GOD IT BURNS SO MUCH!"

Orphan

Why did the orphan like milk?

Because their parents went to get milk and never came back!

Memes

Orphan

STOP THE FRICKING ORPHAN JOKES!!!!!!!!!!!! STOP THEM NOW! STOP THEM NOW NOW NOW N.O.W.

Death

Robin Williams' death was the most horrible impression ever given. (RIP Robin Williams, you will be missed!)

Midget

Why did the midgets laugh when they run?

Because their balls dragged along the ground. 😅😂🤣

Child

I found a child on the street homeless, and they were really nice, so I took them home. Then I said, "Who's better, Biden or Trump?" They said they support Trump. They are now dead in my basement and have been for 3 years.

Diet

My diet consists of Blood Pudding, I love it and have it for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, my secret ingredient though?

It consists of the blood and insides of my victims, it’s a bit chunky sometimes, some bits chewy, some bits hard, but it’s a hearty meal.

Chicken

Why did the Chicken cross the road? You: Why? To get to the little b***h's house!

Knock knock! You: Who's there? The chicken!

Priest

Father, then the priest says, "Son, Holy Spirit, amen." No, I was asking you a question, Father.

Chicken

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because he wanted to get to the other side and meet his friend.

Boy

What's the difference between a 14-year-old boy and an 8-year-old boy?

The 14-year-old is on top, the 8-year-old is on the bottom.

Girl

Why did the girl fall off the swing?

Coz she had no arms, bants!

Sex

I was kissing my gal when the phone rang. I answered it, and it was a prank. I walked into the room when my girl had sex with me. Then we cummed the house full XD

PS free sex at my name