The jokes

What did the airplane say to the tower? Allahu Akbar!

Why did the skeleton not go to the dance?

Because he had no BODY to go with!

Why did the chicken cross the road?

'Cause he was on crack.

How are the faster readers in the world?

9/11 victims, they read 80 stories in 10 seconds.

Did you hear about the nurse who couldn’t swim?

She ended up under the doc[tor].

Why did the egg fall off the motorbike?

He was shite.

Yo mama so fat when she wanted to get wet, she used the highway as a slippin' slide!

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To try to get away from the man.

Why did the man cross the road?

Because his d**k was stuck in the chicken.

What's the best thing about 23 year olds? There are twenty of them.

A delivery service called “Ross Deliveries” was known to be the best in town. They never got anything wrong. One day, Rachelle got a delivery, but when it arrived, it was all broken! How is this possible?

I never said which delivery service she used. Lol.

I had bullies behind me on the street, but they were too fat and slow, so they got ran over by a truck that represents fat and slow.

One day I went skating and skated for so long that my feet were incredibly sore.

It was like my skates were moving all by themselves, but I decided to just roll with the situation.

Farmer: Phew! I got all the eggs from the chickens!

Farmer #2: EGGcellent!

Today I asked my sis to take out the trash, and I shoved her outside!

Yo mama's so fat, a man has to bring climbing equipment to kiss her on the cheek.

Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because she felt peely!

What is black and white and red all over? A newspaper.

Why is the tire so tired?

Because it is tired out.

Spaceballs: The Comment.

Me: Knock knock.

Some dude on the street: Who's there?

Me: Whowhowho.

Dude: Whowhowho who?

Whowhowhowhowhowhowhowhowhowhowhowhowho.

Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide.