The jokes

Pants

Poopy pants! Ha! Got 'em! Use Code Fred_5001 in the Fortnite item shop.

Man

Why could the blind man not see?

Answer: Because he is blind.

Lumberjack

I despise lumberjacks. They are always barking up the wrong tree, all bark and no bite.

They just need to leaf people alone or stick with something nicer.

Candle

How can you light up a candle in a ship which does not contain any instrument and you are alone with just a packet of candles?

Answer: Just throw one candle in the sea; the boat will become lighter.

Diarrhea

Someone was walking down the street and they saw some neat...

"Diarrhea cha cha cha, Diarrheal cha cha cha!"

Foot

What has 5 legs, 3 arms, and 7 feet?

The finish line at the marathon bombing.

Gay

If you're gay, then what the f*** are you doing trying to walk straight?

Bed

I lent my sister my bed. The next morning, she told me it worked like a dream.

Doctor

A man came running into a hospital saying, "Doctor, Doctor! I can't feel my legs!"

The doctor replied, "I know I amputated your arms!"

Jesus

Q: What did Jesus say when he got nailed to the cross?

A: Owwww!!!!!

Food

My mom told me that she and the owner of a Chinese restaurant made a deal. Now we get free Chinese food. So I ask my mom why do we get free Chinese food? Then my mom said, "I love him long time."

Unicorn

If I could be any creature, I would be a Unicorn because they are Beautiful, Majestic, Sparkly, Bright, Gods. They create Joy and Happiness everywhere they go.

Unicorns made my life better when I got to know them more. ^-^ They filled my life with more Happiness. I believe in the Unicorns, and they'll believe in me. I am not a Unicorn, although I am the Princess of the Unicorn Land, but if I could be any creature, I would be a Unicorn! :P

Candy stick

Jack took Jill up a hill to have a picnic, but Jack and Jill got drunk. They then Jill unzipped Jack's fly, then said, "You know you want me to."

He said yes, so she took off her dress and bra. Jack took his pants and shirt off too. They both went in the well together and played a game: Jack's candy stick in Jill's candy stick. Next, Jill was sucking Jack's candy stick while Jack licked and sucked her candy stick, then Jill sat on Jack's candy stick while making out.

Party

I'm holding an African themed party tomorrow. There is no food, and the drinks are 10 miles away!