The jokes

I met a talking lizard. The doctor told me he had ereptile dysfunction! 🦎

Why is the Leaning Tower of Pisa leaning?

It has better reactions than the Twin Towers.

Are you the Twin Towers? Because I'd smash.

What did one shark say to the other while eating a clownfish?

I hate it when I go to the shop and people are like, "Oh, hey what are you doing here?"

Me: "Oh, you know, just hunting elephants."

I asked the emo girl if she gets jealous when her phone dies.

Why didn’t the grape 🍇 leave her family?

Because she loved raisin' kids!

Yo mama so ugly that when she watched The Outsiders, they became The Insiders.

How many emos does it take to fix a lightbulb?

None, because they just cry in the darkness.

Your mom does not need the internet. She's already worldwide.

Your hairline is so wonky that it looks like the McDonald’s sign.

(DOORS)

What door is the first door that opens for you?

The elevator to go to the game.

How many emos does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, because they just sit and cry in the dark.

Does that neverending forehead of yours go all the way to Mars, holy fucking shit?

The kid's dad was a magician because he disappeared and never came back.

I hate when people leave their cars running, especially in the summer.

I'm like, "You got Tracy Latimer in there or something?"

Do you wanna eat makeup, 'cause you're not pretty on the inside?

When does Friday come before Thursday?

In the dictionary.

Have you ever had a bad sausage? It's the wurst.

What’s the best air to breathe if you want to be rich? Millionaire.