The jokes
The doctor told me my temperature was exactly 98.6 degrees. I felt relieved until he said, “Celsius.”
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
One actually gets picked.
If you wait for a woman to get 9 months pregnant and kill her, you will never be able to stop the loop.
A retarded kid sees a murderer chopping up his latest victim with a saw. The retarded kid yells, "Seesaw!" because he sees a saw.
Obama: It smells like UpNigga in here...
Trump: What's UpNigga?
Obama: Omg did you say the n word?? Die!!!
Memes
The best way to tell someone that you don't like them is by texting them "370HSSV 0773H" and tell them to read it upside down.
Kobe never missed a shot, but he missed the helipad.
I'm going to hell!
What do you call a group of emos?
The Suasied Squid.
Can bees fly in the rain?
Not if they don't have their yellow jackets!
Why does everybody like the sun? Because it's hot.
Your mama so old, her first Christmas was the first Christmas!
How did the orphan die?
Of sadness.
A B C D E F G.
Gummy bears are chasing me, one is red, one is blue. One is chewing up my shoe. Now I'm running for my life because the red one's got a knife!
MAGAnon STOP SCAMING FOR THE SAKE OF LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
One knight, a king, and a queen went fishing. They each caught one fish, so how did three fish end up in the bucket?
One "knight"!!!
Why do orphans only have 363 days in the year?
Because they don't have a mother or father's day.
What's the difference between a girl eating Taco Bell and doing sex a few times? Nothing. Something always comes out.
Look! An ancient African city!
From the makers of Timbukone...
Leukophobic people don’t have sex. Leukophobia is the fear of white.
Yo mama is SO FAT... SO FUCKING FAT... That when she went on the bus, she wasn't allowed in. She asked why, and the driver pointed to the sign "Weight capacity of 50 people". The bus was empty.
She got mad and ate the bus!