The jokes
When the phone is ringing, Dad says, "If it's for me, don't answer it."
I went to the zoo the other day. There was only one dog in it. It was a shih tzu.
What did one hurricane say to the other?
"I got my EYE on you!"
You know the difference between happy tailgaters and angry tailgaters?
Happy tailgaters know how to throw a party.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Uriah. Uriah who? Keep Uriah on the ball, Laquon Treadwell!
Why did Mrs. Henderson get a divorce from her husband, Harry?
She was tired of everyone calling the family "Hairy" and the Hendersons.
What is the difference between the human and a tree and a house that has to walk home and walk walk home from school? Was your name in your house? I did not have any good time for dinner today, but I did have a good night's sleep.
What did the banana say to his neighbor? Yellow!
Living in Houston, Texas, and realizing that hurricanes are an annual threat, my ex-wife called me and asked what would be the safest route to get out of Houston to avoid a hurricane. My answer? Take the 610 loop, dear!
What is the difference between a tree and "walk walk" home from a tree house? 🏠
If an orphan were to get a takeaway, what’s the home address?
What did the potato say when the sweet potato told it to hurry?
I yam.
What time is it when you get home, can walk walk home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home from school and walk walk home from school and walk walk home?
🏡 night time and I can drive to the car tomorrow night.
What did the Joker say to Harley Quinn?
Nothing.
What did the rock say to the flower?
Rocks can't talk. -.-
Good day today, love you. Walk in love day and a walk home night. Night, night. I did not get snow. I love it is the day that we get a tree. I have to go get some sleep. Was good day at school today, but I’m going to be...
In the Middle Ages it was illegal for a blind man to become a king.
I mean, I don't see why not.
What time is it if you sprain an ankle or an arm?
Time to go to the doctor! 🥼
What's the difference between broccoli and a booger?
Kids won't eat broccoli.
All the traffic stopping the cars, how do you spell that without any R’s?
That.