The jokes

Why can't Asians play baseball? Because they will eat the bat.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was emotionally distressed after a break up and wanted to find some help at his friend's pen. In the end, he was run over by a car, marking a sad end to what might have been a good chicken's life.

One day I was jogging through the park and I saw this lady sitting next to a pond in a wheelchair with no legs and arms and said "Why are you crying" she said she had never been hugged I gave her a hug and jogged away.The next day i saw her again and asked her the same question she said "I've never been kissed" I gave her a kiss and went, The third day i asked her thrice and she said I've never been fucked I picked her up from her wheelchair and throwed her in the pond and said your fucked now She didn't make it:)

What's the difference between orphans and apples?

Apples get picked.

Do you wanna hear the gossip about butter?

Actually, I shouldn't spread it.

What did the football coach say when he went to the bank?

-"I want my quarterback."

What's the difference between a Mexican and a frog?

One jumps in ponds, the other leaps over the border. :)

Why did the bum get a slap?

Because it was being too cheeky.

What did the mentally retarded kid get on his test?

Drool.

Jack and Jill went up a hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high, pulled down his fly, and said, "Jill do you wanna?" Jill said yes, pulled up her dress, and then they had some fun. But stupid Jill forgot the pill so now they have a son.

Have you ever noticed when a woman is pregnant, all her friends touch her stomach and say "congrats," but none of them touch the man's penis and say "well done?"

A woman comes to the doctor and tells her, "Doctor, my husband wants intense sex all day, what should I give him?" The doctor says, "My number."

What do gay men like cocks?

🍦🍦🍦 they like the cream filling 😋

Why do emos like yo-yo's? Cos they get strangled by the string.

Incest. A game the whole family can play.

Chuck Norris gets pulled over by a cop, and the cop gets a ticket.

New study reveals that women slightly overweight live longer... than the men who mention it.

What's the difference between a terrorist base and an elementary school?

I don't know, I'm just the drone pilot.

Did you hear about the fire in the shoe factory?

Many soles were lost.

Three men are on a boat. They have four cigarettes, but nothing to light them with. So, they throw a cigarette overboard and the whole boat becomes a cigarette lighter.