The jokes
Why can Michael Jackson not play chess? Because he can't pick which side he is on, the white or black side.
Why do they have air conditioning in hospitals?
To keep all the vegetables fresh.
What is the difference between R Kelly and Kelly Clarkson?
R Kelly hits on preteens, Kelly Clarkson hits on toddlers.
Why can't Asians play baseball? Because they will eat the bat.
Why do four polish heteroflexable men like to suck on four of the cow's udders? Because a bull has only one.
Memes
Yo mama so ugly, she went to the bathroom and scared the sh*t out of the toilet.
What did the woman on the beach say to Michael Jackson? Hey, get out of my sun!
Q: What’s the difference between Usain Bolt and Adolf Hitler?
A: One got to finish a race.
Why did the turkey cross the road twice?
To prove he wasn’t a chicken!
My grandpa may be a pedo, but at least he slows down in the school car park.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was emotionally distressed after a break up and wanted to find some help at his friend's pen. In the end, he was run over by a car, marking a sad end to what might have been a good chicken's life.
Sans: Wow, seems you’re really working yourself... down to the bone!
What did the football coach say when he went to the bank?
-"I want my quarterback."
Do you wanna hear the gossip about butter?
Actually, I shouldn't spread it.
What's the difference between orphans and apples?
Apples get picked.
What's the difference between a Mexican and a frog?
One jumps in ponds, the other leaps over the border. :)
Why did the bum get a slap?
Because it was being too cheeky.
Jack and Jill went up a hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high, pulled down his fly, and said, "Jill do you wanna?" Jill said yes, pulled up her dress, and then they had some fun. But stupid Jill forgot the pill so now they have a son.
Have you ever noticed when a woman is pregnant, all her friends touch her stomach and say "congrats," but none of them touch the man's penis and say "well done?"
A woman comes to the doctor and tells her, "Doctor, my husband wants intense sex all day, what should I give him?" The doctor says, "My number."