The jokes
Yo mama so ugly, she went to the bathroom and scared the sh*t out of the toilet.
What is the difference between R Kelly and Kelly Clarkson?
R Kelly hits on preteens, Kelly Clarkson hits on toddlers.
Why did the turkey cross the road twice?
To prove he wasn’t a chicken!
What did the woman on the beach say to Michael Jackson? Hey, get out of my sun!
Why can't Asians play baseball? Because they will eat the bat.
Memes
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was emotionally distressed after a break up and wanted to find some help at his friend's pen. In the end, he was run over by a car, marking a sad end to what might have been a good chicken's life.
What's the difference between orphans and apples?
Apples get picked.
Do you wanna hear the gossip about butter?
Actually, I shouldn't spread it.
What did the football coach say when he went to the bank?
-"I want my quarterback."
What's the difference between a Mexican and a frog?
One jumps in ponds, the other leaps over the border. :)
Sans: Wow, seems you’re really working yourself... down to the bone!
Why did the bum get a slap?
Because it was being too cheeky.
What did the mentally retarded kid get on his test?
Drool.
Jack and Jill went up a hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high, pulled down his fly, and said, "Jill do you wanna?" Jill said yes, pulled up her dress, and then they had some fun. But stupid Jill forgot the pill so now they have a son.
Have you ever noticed when a woman is pregnant, all her friends touch her stomach and say "congrats," but none of them touch the man's penis and say "well done?"
A woman comes to the doctor and tells her, "Doctor, my husband wants intense sex all day, what should I give him?" The doctor says, "My number."
What do gay men like cocks?
🍦🍦🍦 they like the cream filling 😋
Why do emos like yo-yo's? Cos they get strangled by the string.
Chuck Norris gets pulled over by a cop, and the cop gets a ticket.
New study reveals that women slightly overweight live longer... than the men who mention it.