The jokes
I saw a child crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were.
Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.
Why don't orphans go to the park?
Because their parents can't push them on the swing!
Her: I love Kobe Bryant!
Me: Helicopter Helicopter
Her:.....
Me: At least you don't say save the trees, cus damn Kobe is good.
What did the dad say to the kid?
Nothing, he went to get the milk.
I hate it when couples get into a little fight and they change their Facebook status to "single." I have fights with my parents, but I don't change my Facebook status to "orphan."
Two hotdogs are walking across the street. One is walking slow. What does the 2nd one say?
"Ketchup!"
If the captain of the Titanic was dumb, he would eat the iceberg.
Time for a Terraria joke.
What is a worm called when it is with a rich worm for his money?
A gold digger.
(play the game or watch some vids to understand)
Person one: What did the DJ name his son?
Person two: IDK, what?
Person one: Erik (while making a DJ motion).
Your mom is so fat that she mains Heavy from the game Team Fortress 2!
What did the nose say to the finger?
"Stop picking me!"
The Rock, more like the Rockpot! 😂😂😂😂😂
Boyfriend: Let's go to bed.
Girlfriend: No.
Boyfriend: Why?
Girlfriend: Because you want sex.
Boyfriend: No, I don't.
NEXT MINUTE
The man could hear banging.
What's the difference between my dad cumming and cancer?
Nothing, they both stain.
I had the WORST day ever. My ex was sent to the hospital from a gun, and I got my hunting license removed.
Why do orphans eat cereal with water? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
Why would you leave a damn gorilla out in the middle of the parking lot after you let the zookeeper bring a chimpanzee home from the zoo because me and the gorilla had too much to drink?
What did one mountain climber say to the other mountain climber?
Man, you are really on edge.
Q: Why is the graveyard so noisy? A: Because all the coffin.
If you don't get it, it means because of people coughing.
Granny says don't worry, the cries of pain are only my ex-husband's.