The jokes
What do you call a droid that takes the long way around?
R2 Detour.
What do a 14-year-old and the fetus inside her have in common?
They both say, "Ohh sh*t, my mom is going to kill me!"
Why did the orphan cross the road?
Because they thought they saw their parents. (Plot twist: the orphan got ran over.)
(Only Ninjago fans understand XD)
If you look outside and it's really windy, it's really cloudy, and the sky looks greenish... you better run, 'cause it has to be Morro!
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 victims, they went through 42 stories in 7 seconds.
Why was the cow afraid?
He was a cow-herd.
Why did the lady go to the dealership? Because she was going to get Hereford.
What was the first animal in space?
The cow that jumped over the moon!
Why did the tangerine copy off other people's work?
Because the tangerine was unORANGEinal!
Why did the boy drop his ice cream?
Because he got hit by a truck.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Europe.
Europe who?
No, I'm not a poo, you're a poo.
Why was the fart on Kickstarter? He just needed some gas.
Yo mama is so ugly, she is the reason Slenderman has no eyes.
Why does an orphan have to go to church? Because that's the only way he can pray for a father.
What's the difference between a baby and an onion?
I cry when I chop onions.
Why did the toilet paper cross the road?
To get to the bottom.
Why did Susie fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms.
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Not Susie!"
What did the piggy bank say to his piggy friend?
"Ain't you got no cents?"
Piggy: "Actually, no. Just pork."
Why can't a little girl fly? She doesn't have the proper motivation.
A police officer pulls a man over. "Hands in the air!"
The man said, "Okay."
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl pee? Because the "p" is silent.