The jokes
What do you say to your customer at a popsicle stand when he asks for the price?
Dollar a pop!
Get it?
I tried my best using phone sex online, but the thing about it is the holes cannot fit through.
What's fun to search for in investigation?
The Milky Way!
The skeleton cancelled the gallery showing of his skull-ptures because his heart just wasn’t in it.
Teacher: How many kids are in this classroom?
Kid: 73 if you count the ones you have hid in the basement.
Well on the positive side: the Mexicans will probably want to pay for, and build, that wall at this point! Maybe the Canadians as well; two free walls!
Yesterday I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the road.
So I asked him, “What’s the word on the street?”
Today was no fun. A rhino escaped from the zoo and ate two parents, and I lost my job as zookeeper.
Why did the music teacher need a ladder to reach the really high notes?
Why can't orphans go to a school field trip?
Because he needs the parent's signature.
I got stuck in the dryer again. Brother, say less.
Why can't blondes write comments on the jokes on this site?
Because they don't know what 2 X 4 is.
Yo mama so American, she deported Dora the Explorer!
Why did the T-Rex 🦖 get a ticket?
He ran at a stomp light!
I had a new "blonde parts expert" woman call for parts. I needed 2 ought wire for a job. She calls NAPA auto and asks for twat wire. The parts guy was assuming she didn't know about Planned Parenthood? .. 😂🤣
Why doesn't the orphan date the girl?
Because she is a home-y.
What do doctors say to patients who blow wind backwards?
DON'T PUT THE FART BEFORE THE FORCE!!
Have you ever noticed when a woman is pregnant all her friends touch her stomach and say “congrats,” but none of them touch the man’s penis and say “well done?”
Repost
How do you punish a blind kid?
Rearrange the furniture.
What do you call a droid that takes the long way around?
R2 Detour.