The jokes
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot's house!
Knock knock?
Who's there?
The chicken.
The chicken who?
The idiot chicken who just crossed the road!!!
What is 50 Cent's least favorite store?
The dollar store.
If I were to not eat the last biscuit, I would feel "crumby."
Most of the jokes are trash.
I was submitting this joke, and I realized Stephen Hawking couldn't.
It had the reCAPTCHA "I'm not a robot."
What do you call a snobbish criminal going down the stairs?
A condescending con descending.
Why was the new gamer mad when they were playing Overwatch?
Because gamer girl WAS ALREADY TRACER.
The bakery I worked at got robbed. They demanded the dough; apparently, it couldn't be baked first.
Yo' mama is so stupid, when they said, "Order in the court," she asked for fries and a shake.
What did the tree say to the Lumberjack? Leaf me alone!
Me: I fucked your mom.
Orphan: I don't have a mom so you fucked the air.
What's the time?
How would I know?
A man from Brooklyn is arguing with an Englishman. He says things like,
"It's an elevator, not a lift!"
and
"It's a bathroom! Not 'washroom'!"
He keeps going on until the Englishman says,
"Hey wanker, it's a school, not a god damned shooting range."
Why did the man die of the actor's performance?
The performance was unbeLIVEable!
Cremation, the last chance to have a smoking hot body.
I was born yesterday, and I walked down memory lane. I fell over the edge!
What did the math acorn say when it grew up?
"Gee-I'm-a-tree."
My uncle got really badly burned the other day.
They don't fuck around at the crematorium.
What did the fish say to the other fish?
"I want my life to be H2O-ver!"
Q: What did the little girl say to her leper daddy?
A: "Oops, I got your nose!"