The jokes
Why was the stadium so cold?
Because of all its fans!
An orphan went on a game show.
The host looked at him and said, "You can't play, this is Family Feud."
3 year old boy: 1... 2...uh....?
Older brother: Ooh I know! 1, 2, 3 get the fuck off my apple tree!
So last week I gave my blind friend a cheese grater. The next two weeks he told me that was the most violent book he has ever read.
Gf: Babe, do you love me?
Bf: Count the stars and that's how much I love you.
Gf: But it's morning, sweetie...
Bf: Exactly.
Gf: :0, I'll take that as a no.
Why were there two boys on the bay?
Because they were gay!
You're the type of guy to have a whole training arc after a girl wants to fight you.
Tongue Trick Sex: The Movie.
Not coming soon!
I would have loved to ride the Titanic at least once ;)
iykyk
What's the definition of a bastard?
Answer: A man with a 1 inch dick and a 10 inch tongue and all he wants to do is fuck!
So, an orphan walked into a store. He gets lost and the store clerk asked, "Do you need help finding your parent?" and the orphan ran out crying.
A guy walks into a bar, he's like, "What's your number, lad?" and the woman is like, "298-777-fatso.com" and he walked home depressed.
What did one shoe say to the other shoe when they were fighting?
"I wanna sock in the eye so bad!"
What do you say when the toilet is clogged?
Oh shit!
Look at the comments.
Q: How can you spell cold with two letters? A: IC (icy).
Q: What state is surrounded by the most water? A: Hawaii (this is really just a trick riddle).
Q: David's father had three sons: Snap, Crackle, and what's the third son's name? A: David.
They say Disneyland is the happiest place on earth. Well, apparently, no one has ever been standing next to you.
What did the pelican say when he finished shopping?
"Put it in my bill."
I know how unicorns make babies. The dad puts his horn in the girl's butt hole.
What's the difference between a school bus and a cactus?
On a school bus, the pricks are on the inside.