The jokes
My dad told me and my sister to stop arguing, so I threw her out the window instead.
What looks like half a cat?
The other half.
Dad: I’m taking your toys to the orphanage.
Child: But why?
Dad: Because you’re going to need them there.
Today was the worst day ever. My ex got hit by a truck... On the plus side, my truck doesn't even have a dent.
Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because she was crummy.
What did the toilet say to the other toilet? You look flushed.
What has 1 head, 1 foot, and 4 legs? A bed.
Memes
Why did your mom cross the road?
Why? She didn't, she got hit by a car.
"Sonic Says", "If you're ever bored and have nothing to do, then just punch an orphan in the face. Who are they gonna tell? Their parents?"
My friend asked me if bees can fly in the rain. I replied, "Not without their yellow jackets."
Why did the orphan try to fly? It was trying to find its parents.
Who were the people that survived 9/11?
The ones who decided it would be a good idea to jump.
What's the difference between an orphan and baseball?
In baseball, you know where home is.
Stephen Hawking's last words were the Windows closing sound.
Stephen Hawking robbed the Apple store looking for a charger.
What's the 9/11 survivors' least favorite team?
New York Jets.
The only joke here is the topic.
What did one orphan say to the other?
Quick, Robin! To the Batmobile!
How do fuck a really fat chick?
Roll her in flour and look for the wet spot.
What is the difference between an orphan and Pokemon?
People choose Pokemon.
Me: I am the second worst thing that happened to these orphans.
Friend: What was the first?
Me: They- they weren't always orphans.
Friend: O-O
Why do orphans miss half the basketball season?
They don't have home games.