The jokes
What did the blond say about the new iPhone?
Krabby Patty jizz sandwich.
If 6 is afraid of 7 because 7, 8, 9, why is 10 scared? Because he is in the middle of 9/11.
Why do orphans play tennis?
Because it's the only love they get.
Moto Moto, stop giving the baby your d*ck!
Why are Asian's dicks too small?
So they can reset the calculator.
You know, having an uncle is a good thing sometimes! I get a pair of shoes every week. He says it’s my reward for playing the tickle game with him in his damp and dark basement. It hurts sometimes. But hey, new shoes!
You know what they say about 9/11 jokes?
The second one never lands as good as the first one.
How do blind kids get punished?
By moving the furniture around the house.
"Jesus is the pioneer of Hollywood. He's still famous and my favorite idol."
Friend: How's it going?
Me: Good, things are good!
Parent: How are you?
Me: Oh, I'm fine!
Twitter: Compose new tweet?
Me: Hellooooo, I would like to tell you about my anxiety & my current greatest fears & let's talk about the impending apocalypse while we're at it.
What’s the difference between a microwave and a 10 year old girl?
The microwave doesn’t fart out blood and diarrhea when you pull your meat out.
What animal can jump the highest? The emo kids.
Why do orphans never wake up in the morning? Their dad can’t wake them up.
Where do orphans get stuff from?
The reject shop.
A man and a giraffe walk into a bar.
After a few drinks, the giraffe falls over and dies. The man begins to walk out when the bartender stops him.
“Hey, you can’t leave that lyin’ there!” The bartender yells out.
The man turns around: “It’s not a lion. It’s a giraffe.”
I kicked a ball at the kid in the wheelchair, and now we're playing Rocket League.
What's the difference between a Chinese person and an old person?
One lasts long and another doesn't.
The twin towers ordered a pepperoni pizza and all they got was plane.
I asked, "Mom, what's that in the sky?"
Mom replied with, "That's your father."
Imagine if Joe Biden was elected for a second term.
He would be the first president to be assassinated by a slick bathtub.