The jokes
I met an amazing girl online. Smart, sexy... uninhibited.
Of course it turned out to be a 12 year old paraplegic boy... I have to admit... The sex was disappointing.
What do you call a black man in the dark?
- Nothing.
Mommy, mommy! Are we drug dealers?
Shut up and cut the coke.
My sister told me she liked Medusa.
I said, "Huh?"
My sister said my blow jobs are so good she looks up at the guy's facial expression, and when they look down, they do nothing but stay still.
What's the difference between an orphan and a corpse?
One of them has someone to mourn them.
Two magicians were in a competition. The first one did magic, and the second started counting down, "3, 2," but before he said the last number, he 1.
Why can't orphans have cereal? Because their dad didn't come back with the milk.
Why did the koala cross the road to get to the other gum tree?
My favorite film is The Hunchback of Notre Dame.
I love a protagonist with a twisted back story.
Why did the orphan get sent to the principal's office?
Because he punched dumbos like you people!
Why was the chicken screaming?
He had an egg stuck in his butt.
My mom bought me a car, and she called me an ungrateful b*tch because I sat in my wheelchair the whole time.
Your hairline and my car go Lighting McQueen speed because he never came back with the milk.
I bet my friend $5 that he would drown in the lake.
... It was a bittersweet victory.
Why do emo kids not get phones? Because the phone dies before them.
What's the difference between a trampoline and a child?
You take your shoes off before jumping on the trampoline.
Two emos are dating, and the most romantic thing they have ever done is slit each other's wrists.
Why don't pirates take a shower before walking the plank?
They just wash up on shore.
Why can't an orphan use an Apple iPad?
Because it can't find the home button...
Q: Why did baby shark cross the Pacific Ocean?
A: To find his dad.
This had me wheezing 😂🤣😂🤣