The jokes

Rapper

Why was the rapper so good at math?

Because he knew how to count his bars!

File

A kid asks Trump:

Kid: "Where are the confidential files?"

Trump: "There they are, bud!"

Dad

What's the difference between your dad and grocery shopping?

He didn't come back with the milk.

Rapper

Why did the rapper go to the seafood restaurant?

Because he heard they had PHAT BASS.

Cancer

What's the difference between me and cancer?

Well, my dad couldn't beat cancer.

Daveon

Why did Daveon go to the doctor?

Because he was feeling "Daveon" in the dumps.

Sister

This was a few months ago. I used to help people load and unload inventory. One day I’m driving home after having lunch with my sister, and she asked if we can stop at the next gas station. I told her, "So you can weigh yourself on the truck scale?"

Wife

Daveon says, "Oh wow, she's so beautiful!" The doctor then says, "Yes, but sadly, your wife didn't make it..." Daveon then states, "Give me the one my wife made then!"

Mama

Yo mama is so clumsy, when she had her first kickboxing lesson, she kicked herself in the testicles.

Stephen Hawking

What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie-talkie?

He can’t walkie or talkie.

Priest

What does a priest and Christmas tree have in common? The balls are just for decoration.

Trash

How long does it take a black woman to take out the trash?

About nine months and a day.

Couple

A lesbian couple and a gay couple are going to San Francisco. Who made it first?

The lesbian couple got there lickety-split.

The gay couple was still packing their shit.

DNA

What do you get when you cross cow DNA with human DNA?

Kicked out of the petting zoo.

School

The fact I couldn't hear the announcements at my school because the boys in my advisory are clapping with no hands should be a joke just in itself. They were making sexual faces as well, oh, and don't forget the moaning they do.