The jokes
The north and south towers got into an argument.
The south tower said, "We will talk about this when we are on the ground."
What's the similarities between anonymous and a cow? I think you know...
What was the weather forecast when the planes hit the World Trade Center? Partly cloudy with scattered passengers!
Pilot: So Kobe, it seems like you’re not going to make it to your destination in time, so I’m going to put it on autopilot so I can find a place to fill with gas.
Kobe: Take us to the side of that mountain at full speed. I don’t really want to go to the event anymore.
I saw two really tall guys. I walked up and said, "I didn't know we still have the Twin Towers!"
A guy walks into a bar with a revolver and yells, “WHO THE FUCK FUCKED MY WIFE!”
A man in the back responds, “YOU AIN'T GOT ENOUGH BULLETS MATE!”
How does a skeleton call his friends?
On the tele-bone!
Yo mama so fat, the only letters that she knows are KFC.
I went to jail because I gave the orphan kid a calendar with 363 days.
(I deleted Mother's Day and Father's Day.)
I added Paul Walker on Xbox...
But he spends all his time on the dashboard.
The pinnacle of loyalty is that an ant married an elephant, and after he died, she spent her entire life burying him :)
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into the school fire and said, "Hot wheels!"
Why did the egg hide?
Because it was a little chicken!
What is the shortest month of the year?
May, it only has 3 letters!
Why were there only 3,000 Mexicans at the Battle of the Alamo? Cause there were only 4 trucks.
I loved the Twin Towers, it's a shame my dad didn't.
Do you know that “I’m sorry” and “I apologize” usually mean the same thing?
Except at a funeral.
Did you see the dyslexic kid try to write down “funeral?”
No? Shame, it was real fun.
What’s the difference between depression and your ex?
Depression fucks you harder.
Why are Indian people bad at Monopoly?
Because whenever they hit the corner, they build a shop.