The jokes

Yo bro, look at this twig I found on the floor. Wait...

What's the difference between a joke and the Twin Towers? People don't laugh at my jokes.

I feel bad for the guy in 9/11 who ordered a salami pizza. Instead, he just got a plane.

I can’t stand jokes about Germans.

They’re the wurst.

Fat people are like the Twin Towers. Once they go down, they don’t come back up.

The South Tower proposed to the North Tower, but he said no.

There are only 2 things I hate in this world:

1. People who are intolerant of other people's cultures. 2. The French.

What's the difference between vitiligo and plastic surgery?

Vitiligo doesn't alter facial features.

Who are the fastest readers in the world?

9/11 victims. They went through 67 stories in 0.67 milliseconds.

Unfortunately, I had bad luck and faced infidelity.

Picture this: the bedroom door opens and I see my girlfriend in bed with two men...

I didn’t expect her to come back so early.

Abortion is a difficult topic for me.

One hand I support it because it kills children.

On the other hand, it gives women a choice.

Why is 10 afraid?

Because it’s in the middle of 9/11.

Why was Saudi Arabia sad during 9/11?

Because there were no more planes.

Hey, guy, you suck! Why do I suck? Because you're the one that's sucking juice out of a straw.

I got fired from my paramedic job on the first day. I told an eight-year-old who lost his leg in a car accident to "walk it off."

Why are there more female history teachers than male?

Because women like to bring up the past.

Why should you always give an emo a high five in the hallway? You can’t leave them hanging.

What’s the best part about stage four cancer?

There’s no stage five.

Why do American guns only have 30 rounds in the clip? Because that’s the average class size.

My girlfriend died in Tokyo during a tsunami. I was sad, but my friend told me, "Don't worry, there are plenty more in the ocean."