Teenager jokes
"I met a girl and she's 28."
"Now I'm the coolest guy in all of 8th grade."
- AJR
A depressed kid wanted to give me a high five.
I just left him hanging.
What do you call a white kid at the back of the class?
School shooter.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they all sit in the dark and cry.
What do you call an annoying emo kid? A nuisance.
Why did the emo kid hate the nun? (Cuz nun of them were emo.)
There's two types of emo people:
1. People that cut side to side.
2. And people that cut up and down.
The most efficient is up and down.
What school does a depressed middle school kid go to?
KMS.
Why did the emo break up with her boyfriend?
He didn't wanna hang out.
Walk up to the quiet kid and tell him to hang in there. Trust me, you won’t regret it.
This emo kid wanted to join a group of emos, but he didn't make the cut.
when you see a depressed kid, you walk up and say "wassup my lil barcode"
Emos do take shots of themselves... not with a camera, though.
A teenage boy decides to go see a hooker for the first time and asks his experienced uncle for some tips.
"Uncle, what should I do about the hooker name? Should I ask her real name or should I come up with a name for her myself?"
"Kid, I've been fucking hookers for 20 years and I didn't even know they had names."
Jonny went to school one day, and later that day his dad got a call saying he needed to pick up his son because he had had sex with a teacher. When Jonny got home, his dad was so happy he went out to the store and bought him a bike. When they bought the bike, Jonny was offered to ride the bike, but he declined it and replied, "My butt still hurts."
What's the same between a pregnant 14 year old and her fetus? They're both saying "Oh my god, my mom's gonna kill me!"
What's the difference between a Catholic priest and acne?
Acne waits until you're 13 to come on your face.
Can emos eat a Happy Meal?
The popular girl told me, "I bet your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory!"
Two weeks later, she shows up pregnant.
...
I guess her rubber broke too.
There were 30 high school seniors taking finals, and once they finished, the teacher, Mrs. Jones, walked up and down the classroom to collect the tests, and asked, "So, are you guys ready for college?" And Brian answered, "No way. School is just a waste of time, every day taking *seven cruel hours of our lives*." Angela replied, "Never! Like Brian said, school is just a waste of time, and the next level is surely not worth paying $50,000 for. Besides, math class is *mental abuse to humans*!" And Jack said, "School has been a waste of so much time I'll never get back, and after these *finals* I've realized... *fuck, I never actually learned shit*!"